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Zoolander: assassinations.m4r (794 K) 

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J.P. Prewitt (David Duchovny): "The fashion industry has been behind every major political assassination over the last 200 years. And behind every hit, a card-carrying male model."
Matilda: "Okay, that's impossible."
J.P. Prewitt: "Oh, yeah? Listen and learn, sweetness. Abe Lincoln wanted to abolish slavery, right? But, who do you think made the powdered wigs and colored leg stockings worn by our country's early leaders?"
Derek: "Mugatu!"
J.P. Prewitt: "Slaves, Derek."
Derek: "Oh."
J.P. Prewitt: "Without their free labor, prices on such items would have gone up tenfold. So the powers that be hired John Wilkes Booth, the original male/actor, to do Mr. Lincoln in. I'll go on. Dallas, Texas, 1963. Kennedy had just put a trade embargo on Cuba ostensibly halting the shipment of Cuban-manufactured Sansabelt slacks. Incredibly popular item at the time."
Matilda: "Lee Harvey Oswald was not a male model."
J.P. Prewitt: "You're bleepdamn right he wasn't. But those two lookers who capped Kennedy from the grassy knoll sure as bleep were."

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