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Ms. Krabapple: "So, Bart... how are you feeling?"
Bart: "Can't complain."
Ms. Krabapple: "Well then, you're ready for your make-up test..."
Bart: "Oooooow, my ovaries!"

Bart sings: "Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile broke its wheel
and the Joker got aw..."

Bart: "But that's what we learned about... I sure as HELL can't tell you we learned about HELL unless I say 'HELL', can I?"
Homer: "Er, lad has a point there..."
Bart: "Hell yes!"
Marge: "Bart! You're no longer in Sunday School! Don't swear!"

Bart: "Grandpa, Matlock's not real..."
Abe: "Neither are my teeth, but I can still eat corn on the cob if someone cuts it off and smushes it into a fine paste... now that's good eatin'!"

Marge: "It's for your own safety...""
Bart: "Uuuh." (punching sounds)"
Bully 1: "Take that, safety boy!"
Bully 2: "This padding's so easy on the knuckles, I could punch all day!"

Lisa: "Do you think you can get the dentle plan back?"
Homer: "Well, that depends on who's the better negotiator: Mr. Burns or me..."
Bart: "Dad, I'll trade you this delicious doorstop for your crummy old danish..."
Homer: "Done and done... he he he... Doh!"

Otto: "Hey, Bart-dude! Whoa, you look freaked..."
Bart: "Yeah, Otto-man, I've got a big test that I am NOT ready for. Could you please crash the bus or something?"
Otto: "Oh, sorry little buddy, can't do it on purpose... but hey, maybe you'll get lucky!"

Bart: "Gladys... Gladys... About yay high, blue hair, big dent in her forehead..."
Marge: "No honey, Gladys looked more like your Aunt Patty."
Bart: "(evil laugh) Oh yeah, there she is..."

Bart: "I got a C minus! I passed! I got a C minus! I passed! I passed! I... kissed the teacher! Blech!""

Bart: "The name of the book that I read was 'Treasure Island'. It's about these... pirates. Pirates... with patches over their eyes... and shiny gold teeth... and green birds on their shoulders."

Nelson: "When it comes to catchin' trout, nothin' beats the German line infantry..."
Bart: "Beautiful, aren't they?"
Nelson: "Yep, I'm gonna huck 'em at cars!"

Bart: "And now, I am going to teach some kids a lesson...""
Marge: "I choose to take that literally."
Homer: "Yes, Bart's a tutor now. Toot on, son, toot on!"

Bart: "Otto, you know I respect you. I mean, you always let us throw stuff at cars and try to tip the bus on sharp turns."
Otto: "Heh, damn thing never goes over, does it?"

Nelson: "Hey Simpson, what are you trying to play?"
Bart: "Polly-wolly-doodle..."
Nelson: "Oh yeah? Well it sounds polly-wolly-crappy! Ha ha!"

Spirograph: "Wait... Did you that there's a direct correlation between the decline of Spirographs and the rise in gang activity? Think about it..."
Bart: "I will..."
Spirograph: "No you won't..."

Bart: "You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't"

Lisa: "Mom, if you take our cartoons away, we'll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots."
Bart: "Really? What kind of robots?"

Lisa: "I always knew some day mom would violently rise up and cast off the shackles of our male oppressors."
Bart: "Ah, shut yer yap."

Willy: "(gasp!) Boy! Ye read my thoughts! You've got the 'shinning'!"
Bart: "You mean 'shining'..."
Willy: "Shhh! Ye wanna get sued?"

Bart: "Oh sure, like I'm really gonna take a picture of my butt"

Bart: "And I think it's ironic that, for once, dad's butt PREVENTED the release of toxic gas..."
Marge: "Bart!"

Bart: "(gasp!) Overload! Pleasure overload! (smooch!)"

Bart: "Man, what's gotten into you?"

Bart: "Ummm... making teenagers depressed is like shooting fish in a barrel."

Bart: "Have a good life"

Bart: "What a load of crappy crap crap!"

Bart: "The dead have risen, and they're voting republican!"

Bart: "Dad, please... you're embarassing us"

Bart: "Chuuuuummmmmm...p!"

Bart: "I am the thing from Uranus!"

Bart: "Uuh!"

Bart: "Eat my shorts"

Bart: "Allow me to demonstrate..."

Bart: "I can do that, but I don't wanna..."

Bart: "Can you get me some of those Flintstones' chewable morphine?"

Bart: "I didn't do it"

Bart: "Don't have a cow, dad..."

Bart: "This island is a death hole."

Bart: "It's crap-tacular."

Bart: "It's crap-tacular."

Bart: "How sweet it is!"

Bart: "When I grow up, I want to be in the Betty Ford Center."

Bart: "I am the thing from Uranus!"

Bart: "Buttman! Nananana Buttman!"

Bart: "Now's our chance to be bad."

Bart: "Eat my shorts."

Bart: "Don't have a cow."

Bart: "Aww, raspberries."

Bart: "Oh, wiseguy eh?"

Bart: "Those fingers through my hair, that sly come-hither stare, that strips my conscious bare, it's witchcraft..."