All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

313_adjust.wav(17K) 313_adjust.mp3(17K)

: "Boy, that kid's having a hard time adjusting to public school."

313_again.wav(18K) 313_again.mp3(18K)

: "It was nice competing against you boys, we will have to do it again sometime."

313_appropriate.wav(21K) 313_appropriate.mp3(21K)

: "I think it would be appropriate for you to talk with your sons and instruct them to no longer tease or bother with my boy."

313_badass.wav(72K) 313_badass.mp3(72K)

: "Oh my God!  He's beating the crap outta Kyle!  Yeah, he's a badass!"

313_bayofpigs.wav(35K) 313_bayofpigs.mp3(35K)

: "Don't forget that this friday night is the South Park Elementary Bay of Pigs Memorial Dance."

313_buttpipe.wav(69K) 313_buttpipe.mp3(69K)

: "Thats the point, buttpipe!  Don't call me a buttpipe buttpipe!"

313_cereb...wav(44K) 313_cereb...mp3(44K)

: "I have to extripate a lesion in his cerebral cortex or risk infection to synaptic responses!"

313_chairlong.wav(182K) 313_chairlong.mp3(182K)

: "Cartman tries to spell chair."

313_charade.wav(34K) 313_charade.mp3(34K)

: "The answer is 1492..."

313_christsake.wav(46K) 313_christsake.mp3(46K)

: "Of for Christ's sake kid, the word is chair!"

313_columbus.wav(39K) 313_columbus.mp3(39K)

: "How come you never pick me?"

313_comeon.wav(91K) 313_comeon.mp3(91K)

: "Come on phonics monkey, drum!"

313_comeup.wav(43K) 313_comeup.mp3(43K)

: "Hey, would you like to come up to my room?"

313_consc...wav(99K) 313_consc...mp3(99K)

: "Alright Mark, your word is conscientious."

313_creampuff.wav(24K) 313_creampuff.mp3(24K)

: "Put your hand down, creampuff!"

313_damnbaby.wav(17K) 313_damnbaby.mp3(17K)

: "Hey baby, come and see me later!"

313_damnstraight.wav(79K) 313_damnstraight.mp3(79K)

: "Oh my God, phonics monkey killed Kenny!  Yer damned straight he did."

313_dangerous.wav(32K) 313_dangerous.mp3(32K)

: "Why can't I go to school with the other boys?"

313_dishcloth.wav(18K) 313_dishcloth.mp3(18K)

: "Damn dude, those homeschool kids are smart.  Yeah, too bad they have the personalities of a dish cloth."

313_doctor.wav(45K) 313_doctor.mp3(45K)

: "Mark, where's your sister?"

313_dontsaythat.wav(55K) 313_dontsaythat.mp3(55K)

: "Oh dude, you don't say that!"

313_easy.wav(93K) 313_easy.mp3(93K)

: "C H, CH, Chalk!"

313_enemies.wav(40K) 313_enemies.mp3(40K)

: "Oh my goodness, are you two enemies?"

313_fiveseconds.wav(11K) 313_fiveseconds.mp3(11K)

: "Oh God, this kid's gonna last about five seconds out on the playground."

313_flagpole.wav(69K) 313_flagpole.mp3(69K)

: "...and then we duct tape him to the flagpole!"

313_flawed.wav(35K) 313_flawed.mp3(35K)

: "Alright, fine Mark, you go ahead and go to public school!"

313_flicker.wav(294K) 313_flicker.mp3(294K)

: "Rebecca, don't you ever look at the town, at that flicker of light over there?"

313_forever.wav(8K) 313_forever.mp3(8K)

: "Oh, please God, let it be forever."

313_fox.wav(101K) 313_fox.mp3(101K)

: "Kyle serenades Rebecca."

313_free.wav(30K) 313_free.mp3(30K)

: "Cartman sings about being free."

313_furthermore.wav(52K) 313_furthermore.mp3(52K)

: "Uh, hello, my girl is 8 years old, what does she need to know about love?"

313_gettingit.wav(14K) 313_gettingit.mp3(14K)

: "NIce speech, nerdo!   Thanks gaywad!"

313_goingdown.wav(23K) 313_goingdown.mp3(23K)

: "You're going down, bitch!"

313_gowithme.wav(71K) 313_gowithme.mp3(71K)

: "Alright, I'll guess I'll go."

313_gradingcurve.wav(21K) 313_gradingcurve.mp3(21K)

: "You should be able to throw the grading curve and flunk all these little bastards!"

313_hardones.wav(39K) 313_hardones.mp3(39K)

: "Chair, C H A R E..."

313_hardword.wav(138K) 313_hardword.mp3(138K)

: "Cruxledifibic is a hard word to spell."

313_havingfun.wav(34K) 313_havingfun.mp3(34K)

: "Hey Kyle, wanna go make out?"

313_heat.wav(45K) 313_heat.mp3(45K)

: "Dude, homeschooling rules!"

313_hello.wav(26K) 313_hello.mp3(26K)

: "Um, can I talk to her?"

313_heyguys.wav(19K) 313_heyguys.mp3(19K)

: "Hey guys, what's up?"

313_history.wav(61K) 313_history.mp3(61K)

: "Eric, I got you a new history textbook, why don't you come downstairs?"

313_holycow.wav(23K) 313_holycow.mp3(23K)

: "h-h-h-holy cow!"

313_holydiver.wav(70K) 313_holydiver.mp3(70K)

: "The Intro to Holy Diver."

313_hooked.wav(37K) 313_hooked.mp3(37K)

: "What the hell is hooked on monkey phonics?"

313_killedpower.wav(37K) 313_killedpower.mp3(37K)

: "Dio goes unplugged."

313_learn...wav(155K) 313_learn...mp3(155K)

: "You see, I've learned something today..."

313_letsbegin.wav(63K) 313_letsbegin.mp3(63K)

: "The phonics monkey song."

313_letsdance.wav(17K) 313_letsdance.mp3(17K)

: "Well, I'm glad we all learned something today kids, now lets dance!"

313_levelone.wav(67K) 313_levelone.mp3(67K)

: "Welcome to Hooked on Monkey Phonics, Level One."

313_likehate.wav(17K) 313_likehate.mp3(17K)

: "I don't understand, you seem to like that boy yet hate him at the same time."

313_litoral.wav(99K) 313_litoral.mp3(99K)

: "Rebecca spells litoral."

313_littl...wav(28K) 313_littl...mp3(28K)

: "Why don't you run away and join the circus you little son of a bitch?!?"

313_math.wav(26K) 313_math.mp3(26K)

: "Huh, are you ready for some math problems?"

313_muchbetter.wav(36K) 313_muchbetter.mp3(36K)

: "Mark, public schools are no good."

313_mustbehim.wav(55K) 313_mustbehim.mp3(55K)

: "That must be him!"

313_neardos.wav(8K) 313_neardos.mp3(8K)

: "Dude, what a bunch of freakin' nerdos!"

313_neverwin.wav(31K) 313_neverwin.mp3(31K)

: "Look, I got you Hooked on Monkey Phonics!"

313_noschool.wav(36K) 313_noschool.mp3(36K)

: "Stay, at home, all day, no school?"

313_note.wav(21K) 313_note.mp3(21K)

: "You got my note?"

313_notfair.wav(72K) 313_notfair.mp3(72K)

: "Hey thats not fair, you can't let homeschool kids into a public school spelling bee!"

313_notthrough.wav(50K) 313_notthrough.mp3(50K)

: "I'm not through with you, bitch!"

313_out50bucks.wav(48K) 313_out50bucks.mp3(48K)

: "You bet money on my son to win?"

313_pandorasbox.wav(17K) 313_pandorasbox.mp3(17K)

: "Yes, but not I think we may have opened a pandora's box that we can't close!"

313_playtime.wav(23K) 313_playtime.mp3(23K)

: "But I want to play with the other children."

313_pleasehitme.wav(35K) 313_pleasehitme.mp3(35K)

: "C'mon Pip, say it, say please hit me."

313_present.wav(56K) 313_present.mp3(56K)

: "Look Eric, mommy got you a present!"

313_readytorock.wav(35K) 313_readytorock.mp3(35K)

: "Are you ready to rock, boys and girls?"

313_rip.wav(38K) 313_rip.mp3(38K)

: "Yeah, dude, but guys just do that, we rip on each other and stuff."

313_ronnie.wav(51K) 313_ronnie.mp3(51K)

: "Please welcome Ronnie James DIo!"

313_safe.wav(36K) 313_safe.mp3(36K)

: "At least my daughter will remain safe!"

313_screwyouguys.wav(50K) 313_screwyouguys.mp3(50K)

: "Screw you guys, I'm a gonna be homeschooled!"

313_secondhalf.wav(57K) 313_secondhalf.mp3(57K)

: "Have a nice second half of the day, nerdo!"

313_seeya.wav(36K) 313_seeya.mp3(36K)

: "Seeya, Papa!"

313_seriously.wav(47K) 313_seriously.mp3(47K)

: "Cartman rolls around in bed."

313_smartmouth.wav(19K) 313_smartmouth.mp3(19K)

: "Yeah, well, you shouldn't be such a smartmouthed Mr. Knowitall!"

313_something.wav(36K) 313_something.mp3(36K)

: "You can't just wait until she's a teenager and expect her to just figure out everything all at once."

313_sorrydude.wav(49K) 313_sorrydude.mp3(49K)

: "Oh boy, sorry dude, you're on your own."

313_sosweet.wav(43K) 313_sosweet.mp3(43K)

: "Hey fatass, how is homeschool going?"

313_soundscool.wav(24K) 313_soundscool.mp3(24K)

: "But the big dance is tomorrow and all the guys are gonna ducttape him to the flagpole."

313_studying.wav(42K) 313_studying.mp3(42K)

: "Eric, please, we have to do some studying today!"

313_supervise.wav(48K) 313_supervise.mp3(48K)

: "I'm sorry son, there's nothing we can do to stop those bullies."

313_thatsall.wav(44K) 313_thatsall.mp3(44K)

: "Uhh, hi... Hello..."

313_toocruel.wav(43K) 313_toocruel.mp3(43K)

: "We have a new student joining us today from homeschool."

313_travolta.wav(32K) 313_travolta.mp3(32K)

: "Lets just try to pretend there isn't a little boy in a huge plastic hampster ball here and continue with our studies."

313_whatsinaname.wav(13K) 313_whatsinaname.mp3(13K)

: "What's in a name?"

313_whore.wav(32K) 313_whore.mp3(32K)

: "She's a bleepdamned whore, Papa!  Ah, she sure is!"

313_winecooler.wav(41K) 313_winecooler.mp3(41K)

: "I just like wine coolers."

313_woods.wav(14K) 313_woods.mp3(14K)

: "Do you live in the woods or something?"

313_yousuck.wav(34K) 313_yousuck.mp3(34K)

: "Don't you 'oh, brother' me, she's the woman of my dreams!"