All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

304_adlerintro.wav(32K) 304_adlerintro.mp3(32K)

: "For the next week, rather than your normal school work you'll be learning how to make things."

304_ambulance.wav(11K) 304_ambulance.mp3(11K)

: "Well don't just stand there, call an ambulance!"

304_ameri...wav(53K) 304_ameri...mp3(53K)

: "Most of you however will be pumping gas or cutting sheet metal.  And that's why we have shop class."

304_apologize.wav(39K) 304_apologize.mp3(39K)

: "So I guess we'll be going now and we'll just live with the knowledge that you're both kinda sissies."

304_beltsander.wav(63K) 304_beltsander.mp3(63K)

: "Tommy stuck his face in the belt sander!"

304_bigscreen.wav(51K) 304_bigscreen.mp3(51K)

: "When I have you guy's 10 bucks I'm gonna use it to buy the sweetest big screen TV in the world."

304_buildup.wav(13K) 304_buildup.mp3(13K)

: "All that buildup for nothing.  Yeah Christ I coulda been home now!"

304_challenged.wav(64K) 304_challenged.mp3(64K)

: "Well, when I started courting your mother there was this big muscular football player..."

304_confession.wav(42K) 304_confession.mp3(42K)

: "Yeah, see, we got you to fight because we wanted to see who was the toughest."

304_craig...wav(53K) 304_craig...mp3(53K)

: "Hey Tweak, dude, Craig chooses you, he wants to fight."

304_creditcards.wav(69K) 304_creditcards.mp3(69K)

: "The perfect number of credit cards for a man to have is two."

304_crystalclear.wav(37K) 304_crystalclear.mp3(37K)

: "You screw around in shop class you could lose a hand or an eye."

304_dieor...wav(35K) 304_dieor...mp3(35K)

: "What, she die or something?"

304_dontwannago.wav(55K) 304_dontwannago.mp3(55K)

: "Now, now, very few students are severely injured in shop class."

304_eatemfirst.wav(22K) 304_eatemfirst.mp3(22K)

: "You're going to be eating those words bleephole!   No I won't because you'd be eat them first tubby!"

304_fightinshop.wav(100K) 304_fightinshop.mp3(100K)

: "Hey, you're screwing around too much!"

304_fightlength.wav(47K) 304_fightlength.mp3(47K)

: "How long do you expect this fight to last?   As long as Craig wants it to last."

304_flashback1.wav(142K) 304_flashback1.mp3(142K)

: "Catch me Richard....."

304_flashback2.wav(179K) 304_flashback2.mp3(179K)

: "Swing me Richard, swing me higher....."

304_flipusoff.wav(11K) 304_flipusoff.mp3(11K)

: "Yes, you can flip us off Craig, we deserve that."

304_genitalwarts.wav(42K) 304_genitalwarts.mp3(42K)

: "Oh Richard, why can't you open your heart to me?"

304_getmean.wav(22K) 304_getmean.mp3(22K)

: "Remember Tweak, punch hard and punch low."

304_goodfight.wav(68K) 304_goodfight.mp3(68K)

: "Did you hear that?  It sounds like diherrhea coming out of someones mouth or something."

304_grandma.wav(65K) 304_grandma.mp3(65K)

: "Richard, this is grandma....."

304_greatpower.wav(32K) 304_greatpower.mp3(32K)

: "There is indeed great power in your ass Eric."

304_hairthing.wav(15K) 304_hairthing.mp3(15K)

: "Yeah, I like this hair thing, this is cool!"

304_hawaii.wav(37K) 304_hawaii.mp3(37K)

: "Bebe, why don't you try this one? "I think a trip to Hawaii would really improve our sex live.""

304_hero.wav(56K) 304_hero.mp3(56K)

: "What if we meet a guy who wants to be a doctor or a lawyer but is still getting his degree?"

304_hospi...wav(72K) 304_hospi...mp3(72K)

: "Tweak's family was on the news saying what a wuss you are Craig."

304_ifyoubuildit.wav(49K) 304_ifyoubuildit.mp3(49K)

: "Richard... Richard..."

304_incitecraig.wav(131K) 304_incitecraig.mp3(131K)

: "Well, I guess you don't care what Tweak said about your guinea pig."

304_killedkenny.wav(11K) 304_killedkenny.mp3(11K)

: "Oh my God, they killed Kenny!  You bastards!"

304_kingsize.wav(33K) 304_kingsize.mp3(33K)

: "Now, Kenny, how bout you try? "I can't make love to you until we get a king sized bed!""

304_leftovenon.wav(41K) 304_leftovenon.mp3(41K)

: "Oh, well, ah, I can't, I left the oven on."

304_man.wav(46K) 304_man.mp3(46K)

: "Boxing is a man's sport..."

304_meatloaf.wav(22K) 304_meatloaf.mp3(22K)

: "In Sumo, your body must be like stone, and your mind like meatloaf."

304_moveon.wav(140K) 304_moveon.mp3(140K)

: "Richard, you have to move on.  I want you to be happy."

304_never...wav(44K) 304_never...mp3(44K)

: "I never got to say goodbye... I never got to say goodbye..."

304_newcar.wav(29K) 304_newcar.mp3(29K)

: "Alright, now lets try this one together.   "Lisa Smith's husband just bought her a new car.""

304_newwardrobe.wav(42K) 304_newwardrobe.mp3(42K)

: "Now lets try this one together.   "Honey, can I get a new wardrobe?"

304_notcool.wav(38K) 304_notcool.mp3(38K)

: "How come you want to take Home Ec Kenny?   Yeah, thats not cool dude."

304_notfair.wav(12K) 304_notfair.mp3(12K)

: "I don't think that's very fair.  If I teach Craig he's gonna really kill Tweak."

304_notri...wav(71K) 304_notri...mp3(71K)

: "Kenny, I don't quite know how to tell you this, but I'm not sure Home Economics is right for you."

304_notrocky.wav(82K) 304_notrocky.mp3(82K)

: "The fight starts with the theme to Rocky."

304_oh.wav(35K) 304_oh.mp3(35K)

: "Don't just 'oh' him Thomas!"

304_oppenheimer.wav(95K) 304_oppenheimer.mp3(95K)

: "Punch him in the balls Tweak!"

304_poopeater.wav(115K) 304_poopeater.mp3(115K)

: "Craig, I'm not normally one to get involved in this kinda thing, but, well, I was just standing over by Tweak and called you a big poopeater."

304_prefight.wav(69K) 304_prefight.mp3(69K)

: "Ready Tweak, ready Craig?  Lets get it on!"

304_prettyfdup.wav(43K) 304_prettyfdup.mp3(43K)

: "Dude, this is pretty bleeped up right here!"

304_resisttheass.wav(91K) 304_resisttheass.mp3(91K)

: "How can I resist an ass so great?"

304_screwaround.wav(36K) 304_screwaround.mp3(36K)

: "Hey, don't screwing around.  You screw around too much."

304_shoes.wav(24K) 304_shoes.mp3(24K)

: "Sometimes you can tell how much money a man has just by his shoes."

304_shopsucks.wav(16K) 304_shopsucks.mp3(16K)

: "Dude, shop class sucks!"

304_sissies.wav(35K) 304_sissies.mp3(35K)

: "Now does anybody know why you are in shop class?"

304_smack...wav(44K) 304_smack...mp3(44K)

: "How?  How?  I've never been in a fight before!  Me either!"

304_spiri...wav(46K) 304_spiri...mp3(46K)

: "The spirit of the dragon is in your hand..."

304_staypissed.wav(9K) 304_staypissed.mp3(9K)

: "Stay pissed Tweak, stay pissed."

304_stillkickass.wav(27K) 304_stillkickass.mp3(27K)

: "Ned here used to be the State champion until a grenade blew his arm off.  I can still kick ass!"

304_suicidenote.wav(88K) 304_suicidenote.mp3(88K)

: "To whom it may concern: I can no longer live without her."

304_sumo.wav(36K) 304_sumo.mp3(36K)

: "Your friend has brought you to learn the ancient art of sumo."

304_teachfight.wav(63K) 304_teachfight.mp3(63K)

: "Alright Tweak, we'll teach you how to fight and Cartman you teach Craig."

304_thatsfine.wav(9K) 304_thatsfine.mp3(9K)

: "Fine! Fine! Fine thats fine!"

304_thefight.wav(87K) 304_thefight.mp3(87K)

: "Whoa Tweak, did you hear that? What?  Craig just called you a boner!"

304_theyw...wav(59K) 304_theyw...mp3(59K)

: "Oh they wanna fight, they just don't know it yet."

304_troublemaker.wav(86K) 304_troublemaker.mp3(86K)

: "I was just saying that I want to know who is the biggest troublemaker in your class."

304_usedtobe.wav(25K) 304_usedtobe.mp3(25K)

: "A long time ago there were alot of guys who were after your mother.  She used to be very attractive."

304_wannabet.wav(25K) 304_wannabet.mp3(25K)

: "Dude, if Craig and Tweak got in a fight, Craig would kick Tweak's ass.  You wanna bet?"

304_wantout.wav(49K) 304_wantout.mp3(49K)

: "Ahh, you guys never help me!  Your stories never go anywhere.  I hate it, I want out, I want out!!!"

304_weighin.wav(30K) 304_weighin.mp3(30K)

: "Ok, so just to set the record straight here, the fight will be happening out by the tetherball pole at 3:30."

304_welco...wav(36K) 304_welco...mp3(36K)

: "Welcome to Home Ec.  For the next week you will be learning how to bake, sew, clean, and make things that are lacy and pretty.   Yippie!"

304_whatajerk.wav(35K) 304_whatajerk.mp3(35K)

: "There, you see, he just flipped you off!   Ah, what a jerk!"

304_whatsthatson.wav(26K) 304_whatsthatson.mp3(26K)

: "What, what's that son?"

304_whatyougot.wav(30K) 304_whatyougot.mp3(30K)

: "What you got biotch?"

304_whyhomeec.wav(66K) 304_whyhomeec.mp3(66K)

: "You see, some of you girls will go on to have interesting jobs and careers.  But all of you pretty one's won't have to worry about that."

304_wouldahurt.wav(48K) 304_wouldahurt.mp3(48K)

: "Jesus bleep, what was I thinking?  That woulda hurt like hell!"