All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 22Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

superbadmusic.wav(501K) superbadmusic.mp3(228K)

Soudtrack: "(A short clip of the main theme music from Superbad)"

disgusting.wav(409K) disgusting.mp3(186K)

Evan (Michael Cera): "That's disgusting. You're like an animal."
Seth (Jonah Hill): "I'm-- What? I'm disgusting? You're the weird one, man. Don't make me feel weird because I like porn. You're the weird one for not liking porn. I"m normal as shit.""
Evan: "Peeing on people. That's normal?"
Seth: "Evan, I'm not saying I'm gonna look at it. I'm just saying that it comes with the site, okay? I don't know what I'm gonna be into ten years from now."

productionvalue.wav(304K) productionvalue.mp3(139K)

Evan: "I'm just sick of all the amateur stuff. You know? I mean, like, if I'm paying top dollar, I want a little production value. You know? Like some editing, transition, something. Some music."
Seth: "Yeah, you know, well, I'm sorry, Evan, that the Coen brothers don't direct porn that I watch. They're hard to get ahold of. Okay?"

misseachother.wav(193K) misseachother.mp3(88K)

Evan's Mom (Stacy Edwards): "You gonna miss each other?"
Evan: "No. Miss each other? No, thank you. I don't-- I don't miss each other."
Seth: "Yeah, I'm gonna cry myself to sleep everynight."
Evan: "Me too."
Seth: "When I'm out partying."

suckon.wav(168K) suckon.mp3(77K)

Seth: "I am truly jealous you got to suck on those tits when you were a baby."
Evan: "Yeah, well, at least you got to suck on your dad's dick."

abouttograduate.wav(91K) abouttograduate.mp3(42K)

Seth: "Bleep it. I'm about to graduate. They should be suckin' on my ball sac."

notworried.wav(181K) notworried.mp3(83K)

Becca (Martha MacIsaac): "That sucks."
Evan: "Yeah, I mean, it's not too bad. I mean, it should be okay. I'm not too worried about it, really. Don't worry about it. I'm not worried at all."

nooffense.wav(416K) nooffense.mp3(189K)

Seth: "Look, we all know Home Ec is a joke, no offense. It's just, everyone takes this class to get an A. It's bullshit, and I'm sorry. And I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't wanna sit here all by myself cooking this shitty food. No offense. And I just think that I don't ever need to cook tiramisu. When am I gonna need to cook tiramisu? Am I gonna be a chef? No."

gangstas.wav(46K) gangstas.mp3(22K)

Fogell (Christopher Mintz-Plasse): "Gangsters. What's up, guys?"

cooleststory.wav(105K) cooleststory.mp3(48K)

Seth: "That's the coolest bleeping story I've ever heard in my entire life. That's insane. Can I hear it again? Do you have time?"

onthisvoyage.wav(122K) onthisvoyage.mp3(56K)

Seth: "Just bleeping come with me on this voyage and just stop being a pussy for once and we can bleeping bleep some girls already."

bethatmistake.wav(145K) bethatmistake.mp3(67K)

Seth: "You know when you hear girls saying, like, ahh, I was so shitfaced last night. I shouldn't have bleeped that guy.' We could be that mistake!"

thinkofthat.wav(186K) thinkofthat.mp3(85K)

Evan: "I even offered to pay for it. It was pimp. I'm like-- I feel like a pimp right now. Like one of those pimps."
Seth: "Whoa, that is bleeping pimp!"
Evan: "That's what I was afraid of."
Seth: "Why didn't I think of that? Shit."

likeapimp.wav(90K) likeapimp.mp3(42K)

Evan: "I even offered to pay for it. It was pimp. I'm like-- I feel like a pimp right now. Like one of those pimps."

werescrewed.wav(98K) werescrewed.mp3(45K)

Seth: "Sh-- We're screwed. Okay, we're screwed."

justdrillingholes.wav(126K) justdrillingholes.mp3(58K)

Seth: "What are you making?"
Evan: "I'm just drilling holes. Last two weeks, bleep it."

whyamiplaying.wav(112K) whyamiplaying.mp3(51K)

Evan: "That's fun. Why do they make that? If you can't even win, then why am I playing?"

piggycanrun.wav(53K) piggycanrun.mp3(25K)

Seth: "Hope piggy can run."

dontdoitkid.wav(170K) dontdoitkid.mp3(78K)

Good Shopper Security (Charley Rossman): "Don't do it, kid."
Seth: "I never had a choice."

securitybreach.wav(135K) securitybreach.mp3(62K)

Fogell: "Where's all the stolen liquor, Danny Ocean? Did you hide it up your butt?"
Seth: "Piss off! I was gonna do it, but there was a security breach."

areyoumanenough.wav(597K) areyoumanenough.mp3(271K)

Soundtrack: "(A short clip of "Are You Man Enough" peformed by The Four Tops)"

areyoudoing.wav(300K) areyoudoing.mp3(137K)

Fogell: "This is-- This is a lot of stuff, man. I don't know if I can get away with all this."
Evan: "What difference does it make, how much it is?"
Fogell: "I don't know, man. I'm, like, really nervous."
Evan: "Are you okay?"
Fogell: "No, wan. I should have wore the vest."
Evan: "Calm down."
Fogell: "No, no."
Seth: "What the bleep are you doing?"

stabyou.wav(286K) stabyou.mp3(131K)

Seth: "This whole thing is bigger than you, Fogell! So grow a pair of nuts an bleeping walk in there and buy the alcohol!"
Fogell: "What if I don't feel like it anymore, Seth? What?"
Seth: "Then, I'll bleeping kill you, okay? I'll get a knife and stab you through your bleeping heart."

growapair.wav(137K) growapair.mp3(63K)

Seth: "This whole thing is bigger than you, Fogell! So grow a pair of nuts an bleeping walk in there and buy the alcohol!"

orthesteadyhand.wav(323K) orthesteadyhand.mp3(147K)

Fogell: "Killing me won't get you alcohol. I'm the one with the fake ID."
Seth: "Well, then, I'll cut your dumb little bleeping face off, I'll throw it over mine and get your ID and buy it my bleeping self!"
Fogell: "Oh, really? You don't have the technology or the steady hands to pull off a procedure like that, so ha! Peace!"

sincejumpstreet.wav(76K) sincejumpstreet.mp3(35K)

Seth: "We're so bleeped. We're so bleeped. This plan's been bleeped since Jump Street, man."

plan.wav(328K) plan.mp3(149K)

Evan: "Why are you talking about a plan? We've never discussed, like, any plan, but you keep saying we have a plan."
Seth: "I had like, a general outline. You know? I was gonna go down on her for, like, several hours, okay? She would love that. She'd be smitten with that. She'd go out with that. Or I dry hump the shit out of her leg."

slappinggod.wav(204K) slappinggod.mp3(93K)

Seth: "She had the biggest tits I've ever seen, I think."
Evan: "Yeah, I heard she got breast-reduction surgery."
Seth: "What? Making your tits smaller? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a gorgeous gift."

warlocks.wav(44K) warlocks.mp3(21K)

Seth: "I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks."

owwhatthe.wav(59K) owwhatthe.mp3(28K)

Fogell: "Ow! What the shit was that?"

africanjew.wav(585K) africanjew.mp3(266K)

Mindy, Liquor Store Cashier (Erica Vittina Phillips): "Was he African?"
Officer Michaels (Seth Rogen): "African"
Officer Slater (Bill Hader): "African"
Mindy, Liquor Store Cashier: "No. He was American and he was like you. He looked just like you."
Officer Michaels: "He was Jewish."
Mindy, Liquor Store Cashier: "Just like you."
Officer Slater: "Jewish"
Officer Michaels: "Okay, Jew"
Officer Slater: "Okay."
Officer Michaels: "It's an odd crime for a Jew to commit."
Officer Slater: "Yeah, they're pretty docile."
Officer Michaels: "Okay, so we have an African Jew wearing a hoddie."
Mindy, Liquor Store Cashier: "No, you don't. No. That's not what I said. Is that what you heard me say? I said he looked like you. Do you look like an African Jew?"
Officer Michaels: "No, I look like a cop."

eminem.wav(703K) eminem.mp3(319K)

Mindy, Liquor Store Cashier: "He was Caucasian."
Officer Michaels: "Caucasian."
Officer Slater: "Oh, alright."
Officer Michaels: "Okay."
Officer Slater: "Well, touche."
Mindy, Liquor Store Cashier: "Kind of looked like Eminem. Does that help you?"
Officer Slater: "Oh."
Officer Michaels: "An M&M."
Officer Slater: "M&M&M. So he was circular?"
Mindy, Liquor Store Cashier: "Marshal Mathers. Eminem? The rapper, Eminem."
Officer Michaels: "Did he look like this? I'm an amateur. I kind of--"
Officer Slater: "'Cause that kind of looks like an M&M."
Officer Michaels: "Longer face? Bigger nose? Would you say his mouth was wider? Open? A gap?"
Mindy, Liquor Store Cashier: "Is there another squad car in the area that could probably be of further assistance? I don't seem to be getting any."

needtothink.wav(434K) needtothink.mp3(198K)

Seth: "What are we gonna do, bust him out of jail? Bake a cake with a bleeping file in it? Bleep Fogell! We need a new way to get liquor, which is bleeping impossible, 'cause we don't have any money. Bleep!"
Evan: "Alight, you need to calm down. We need to think for a second. We just need to think this out."
Seth: "Bleep thinking, we need to act! (he get hit by a car)"
Evan: "Oh, Seth!"
Seth: "What the bleep happened?"

whatthe.wav(40K) whatthe.mp3(19K)

Seth: "What the bleep happened?"

areyouokay.wav(166K) areyouokay.mp3(76K)

Francis the Driver: "I am so sorry, man. I am so sorry. I didn't even effing see you at all, man. Are you okay?"

justmclovin.wav(201K) justmclovin.mp3(92K)

Officer Slater: "So, it's just McLovin?"
Fogell: "Yeah."
Officer Michaels: "That's badass."
Officer Slater: "That is badass."
Officer Michaels: "Really cool."
Officer Slater: "It's a badass name."

weirdnames.wav(271K) weirdnames.mp3(123K)

Officer Slater: "Lot of people with weird names nowadays."
Officer Michaels: "Chingy, Shakira, Rafe, Pax."
Officer Slater: "We arrested a man-lady who was legally named Phuck."
Officer Michaels: "I think he was Vietnamese, it was with a P-H, but--"
Officer Slater: "Yeah."
Officer Michaels: "It's still pretty shocking to see on a license."

owmyback.wav(1177K) owmyback.mp3(535K)

Francis the Driver: "I'm gonna be totally honest with you. I have a warrant out for a totally nonviolent crime. Okay? There. Mercy Street, guys."
Seth: "Well, I'll be honest with you for a second."
Francis the Driver: "Okay."
Seth: "You better get us a shitload of cash or a shitload of alcohol or you're going to bleeping prison."
Evan: "What are you doing, man? That's-- You don't need to--"
Francis the Driver: "Okay."
Evan: "No, let's not-- Let's hang on a second here."
Seth: "Cough it up."
Francis the Driver: "Fine."
Evan: "I don't know if we should be doing anything too official."
Francis the Driver: "Let's work together. We're working together. It's like Let's Make a Deal. Here we go."
Seth: "Seven bucks? Are you bleeping serious?! This isn't enough for anything. What are you, a 6-year-old?"
Francis the Driver: "It's all I have, man. That's all I have."
Seth: "Well, you better think of something quickly, alright? Ah, my back!"
Francis the Driver: "No, no, no, no, no. Wait."
Seth: "My back! Cops, my back."
Francis the Driver: "Wait, don't do that. Alright, listen. I can get you alcohol. I'm going to this party right now, bro. Okay? It's got booze, it's got girls. Booze and girls equals... I don't know. Do you? I don't know. Do you? I think you do. Do you?"

boozeandgirls.wav(176K) boozeandgirls.mp3(81K)

Francis the Driver: "It's got booze, it's got girls. Booze and girls equals... I don't know. Do you? I don't know. Do you? I think you do. Do you?"

creepy.wav(229K) creepy.mp3(104K)

Seth: "Fogell's dead to us now, we don't have any other choices. Let's go."
Evan: "I don't like this idea at all. This guy's bleeping creepy, man. Look at him."
Seth: "What? He looks like a guy. That's what guys look like. What is your problem?"

likeaguy.wav(111K) likeaguy.mp3(51K)

Evan: "This guy's bleeping creepy, man. Look at him."
Seth: "What? He looks like a guy. That's what guys look like."

likehisbrother.wav(166K) likehisbrother.mp3(76K)

Francis the Driver: "You guys know a guy named Jimmy? You totally look like his brother. You totally look like his brother, man. You do."

readytoget.wav(55K) readytoget.mp3(26K)

Seth: "Well, I hope your friends are ready to get bleeped up."

thisiscrazy.wav(44K) thisiscrazy.mp3(21K)

Seth: "Oh, man! Dude this is crazy."

caseclosed.wav(238K) caseclosed.mp3(109K)

Fogell: "Um, Officers? I can answer those questions now if you want me to."
Officer Slater: "We get the gist of it."
Officer Michaels: "Um-hmm."
Officer Slater: "You were buying beer, some guys came in, punched you. Don't worry about it. We're not gonna find them."
Officer Michaels: "No. Case closed."

nosemen.wav(357K) nosemen.mp3(162K)

Officer Michaels: "I often go to sleep and dream of waking up in a world where everything's covered in semen."
Officer Slater: "I mean, who doesn't ?"
Officer Michaels: "It'd be nice. Like that crime scene today."
Officer Slater: "Yeah."
Officer Michaels: "If the man had ejaculated and then punched you in the face..."
Officer Slater: "Yeah."
Officer Michaels: "...we'd have a real good shot at catching him."
Officer Slater: "No way."
Officer Michaels: "Just punched in the face, no semen."
Officer Slater: "Yeah, no semen."
Officer Michaels: "Story of my life."

needmynuts.wav(134K) needmynuts.mp3(61K)

Seth: "We're here. Let's just hurry up and do this."
Evan: "Are you crazy, man? You wanna end up like that guy? Not me. I need my nuts, man, for a lot of things."

noquestionsasked.wav(129K) noquestionsasked.mp3(59K)

Evan: "These guys could kill us, man. You wanna get killed for liquor?"
Seth: "No, but I would get killed for pussy, no questions asked."

movepeople.wav(102K) movepeople.mp3(47K)

Officer Michaels: "Move people. Thank you. (over the car's loud speaker)"

hitthedeck.wav(55K) hitthedeck.mp3(26K)

Officer Michaels: "If the bullets start flying, hit the deck."

tookhimdown.wav(262K) tookhimdown.mp3(120K)

Officer Michaels: "McLovin, nice!"
Fogell: "He just came at me. I took him down."
Officer Slater: "I'm buying you a beer, McLovin!"
Officer Michaels: "I'm buying you one too. All you guys, take note. That's how you take down a motherbleeper."
Officer Slater: "That's right!"

mclovinnice.wav(80K) mclovinnice.mp3(37K)

Officer Michaels: "McLovin, nice!"

takedown.wav(62K) takedown.mp3(29K)

Officer Michaels: "That's how you take down a motherbleeper."
Officer Slater: "That's right!"

inthehouse.wav(50K) inthehouse.mp3(23K)

Officer Slater: "McLovin in the bleepin' house!"

cellcuttingout.wav(725K) cellcuttingout.mp3(329K)

Evan: "Hello?"
Becca: "Evan, it's Becca."
Evan: "Oh, Becca. Hi."
Becca: "Hey, Hello. (phone cuts in and out)"
Evan: "Hey, Becca. Becca--"
Becca: "Evan, can you hear me? Hello?"
Evan: "Can you hear anything I'm... Piece of shit!"
Becca: "What?"
Evan: "My cell's being a piece of shit bleeping phone. Becca?"
Becca: "It's Becca."
Evan: "I get one bar everywhere I bleeping go."
Gabby (Marcella Lentz-Pope): "What is he saying?"
Becca: "It's Becca."
Evan: "Bleeping asshole."
Becca: "I-- I think--"
Gabby: "What happened?"
Becca: "Did you just--"
Evan: "Son-of-a-bleeping-bitch phone company. Bleep"
Becca: "That's... rude. Hello?"
Evan: "You suck. Bullshit phone, piece of shit."
Becca: "Hello?"
Evan: "I swear I'll bitch slap you so bleeping hard."
Becca: "What?"

paintball.wav(163K) paintball.mp3(75K)

Officer Slater: "Yeah, I met the missus at piantball. Yeah, I shot her in the neck. And we just-- And we just hit it off, you know."

whoisawhore.wav(226K) whoisawhore.mp3(103K)

Officer Slater: "My first wife, who is a whore, by the way, where do you think I met her? A bar. A bar."
Officer Michaels: "It was this bar."
Officer Slater: "It was this bar."

totebag.wav(257K) totebag.mp3(117K)

Officer Slater: "I bought her a Binion's, complimented her on her tote bag and next thing I know, she's putting her mouth on the tip of my penis."
Fogell: "Oh, you don't have to tell me that."

groupsex.wav(311K) groupsex.mp3(142K)

Officer Slater: "On our wedding night, we had, uh, group sex. I wasn't involved in it. But, uh, I could hear it..."
Officer Michaels: "I was."
Officer Slater: "...through the walls. She was amazing. And then it was exactly 23 months later that I found out she was an actual whore."
Officer Michaels: "We discovered her on the street."
Officer Slater: "Yeah."

turnthatoff.wav(125K) turnthatoff.mp3(58K)

Police Radio Dispatcher: "Calling all units. Armed and dangerous man in the vicinity of..."
Officer Michaels: "Just turn that off."
Man on Police Radio: "Send backup! There's so much blood! (click)"

roadbeers.wav(91K) roadbeers.mp3(42K)

Officer Michaels: "Wait, we should get some road beers, huh?"
Officer Slater: "Yeah."
Fogell: "Hell, yeah, we should get some road beers."

killsomeone.wav(358K) killsomeone.mp3(163K)

Fogell: "So, what's it like to have guns?"
Officer Michaels: "It is awesome, McLovin."
Officer Slater: "It's great."
Officer Michaels: "I mean, it's mindbl-- I haven't had one for long, only a few months, bit I'll tell you, it's like having two cocks."
Officer Slater: "Yup."
Officer Michaels: "If one of your cocks could kill someone."

tohaveguns.wav(142K) tohaveguns.mp3(65K)

Fogell: "So, what's it like to have guns?"
Officer Michaels: "It is awesome, McLovin."

catwasdead.wav(186K) catwasdead.mp3(85K)

Officer Michaels: "I can shoot. What are you, wait-- You honestly think I can't shoot worth dick?"
Officer Slater: "I'm telling you right now, you cannot shoot."
Officer Michaels: "I shot that cat last week."
Officer Slater: "It was already dead, man."
Officer Michaels: "I still shot it."
Officer Slater: "That cat was dead."

theseeyes.wav(1237K) theseeyes.mp3(562K)

Evan: "(Singing "These Eyes" Written by Burton Cummings and Randy Bachman originally performed by The Guess Who)"

onmynuts.wav(64K) onmynuts.mp3(30K)

Officer Michaels: "Suck on my nuts, Slater!"

thecops.wav(72K) thecops.mp3(33K)

Officer Slater: "Shit, the cops!"
Officer Michaels: "Bail, bail, bail!"

howweroll.wav(64K) howweroll.mp3(30K)

Fogell: "Yeah, man. Let's show these bleepers how we roll!"

whataretheodds.wav(67K) whataretheodds.mp3(31K)

Officer Michaels: "I can't believe this is happening again. What are the odds?"

iamthelaw.wav(49K) iamthelaw.mp3(23K)

Officer Slater: "I am the law! Okay?"

holdhands.wav(247K) holdhands.mp3(112K)

Officer Slater: "Now hold hands."
Seth: "What? Why?"
Officer Slater: "Because you don't want an bleephole where your face used to be, Whaling Jennings. Hold his bleeping hand!"
Evan: "Bleeping hold my hand."
Officer Slater: "There. That's not so hard, is it?"

unarrestme.wav(110K) unarrestme.mp3(51K)

Homeless Guy (Clement Blake): "I want a ride! You hear me? You can't un-arrest me!"

mcmuffin.wav(120K) mcmuffin.mp3(55K)

Homeless Guy: "Hey! It's you, McMuffin!"

backthe.wav(81K) backthe.mp3(37K)

Seth: "Hey! Back the bleep up, man, or I'll beat the shit out of you!"

becauseirule.wav(136K) becauseirule.mp3(62K)

Fogell: "Why do you guys have detergent?"
Evan: "Fogell, I don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes with those cops."
Fogell: "Because I bleeping rule."

getlaid.wav(48K) getlaid.mp3(23K)

Fogell: "Oh, we are so gonna get laid tonight!"

drinkson.wav(75K) drinkson.mp3(35K)

Fogell: "We're finally gonna get our drinks on. Chicka, chicka, yeah."

chicka.wav(38K) chicka.mp3(18K)

Fogell: "Chicka, chicka, yeah."

arrangement.wav(55K) arrangement.mp3(25K)

Fogell: "We never should have had to hide our arrangement."

toseth.wav(289K) toseth.mp3(132K)

Party Teenager #3 (Naathan Phan): "To Seth."
Everyone: "To Seth!"
Seth: "Alright."
Party Teenager #2 (Stephen Borrello IV): "Who the bleep is Seth?"
Seth: "I'm Seth!"
Everyone: "Whoo!"
Seth: "Let's do another one to me."
Everyone: "Yeah!"

itsagoodthing.wav(182K) itsagoodthing.mp3(83K)

Evan: "Calm down. Calm down, man. Calm Down. She likes you. She wants to suck on your penis. It's a good thing."

yourstep.wav(101K) yourstep.mp3(46K)

Seth: "Watch your step. I fell earlier today."
Jules (Emma Stone): "Are you serious?"
Seth: "Well, I was hit by a car. It's a long story."

inhealth.wav(145K) inhealth.mp3(67K)

Becca: "Evan. Evan, I'm so wet."
Evan: "Oh, yeah. Yeah, they said that would happen in health."

smooth.wav(191K) smooth.mp3(87K)

Evan: "Thank you. That's good."
Becca: "You have such a smooth cock."
Evan: "Thank you. You would too if you were a man. But you got such a smooth chest."

withmymouth.wav(198K) withmymouth.mp3(91K)

Becca: "I am gonna give you the best blow-J ever... with my mouth."

bothmyeyes.wav(94K) bothmyeyes.mp3(43K)

Jules: "Are you crying?"
Seth: "No, I just have something in both my eyes."

gunsandcrack.wav(63K) gunsandcrack.mp3(30K)

Officer Michaels: "I assume you all have guns and crack."

ofthelaw.wav(126K) ofthelaw.mp3(58K)

Officer Michaels: "Okay, everyone, prepare to be bleeped by the long dick of the law. Get out."

realname.wav(150K) realname.mp3(59K)

Officer Michaels: "We owe you, Mc-- Wait, what's your real name again?"
Fogell: "Fogell."
Officer Slater: "Ah, bleep that. We're calling you McLovin."
Officer Michaels: "McLovin."

breakyourself.wav(60K) breakyourself.mp3(28K)

Fogell: "Break yourself, fool! (He fires the pistol)"

iloveyou.wav(381K) iloveyou.mp3(173K)

Seth: "I love you. I'm not even embarrassed to say it. I Just, I lo-- I love you."
Evan: "I'm not embarrassed."
Seth: "I love you."
Evan: "I love you. It's li-- Why don't we say that every day? Why can't we say it more often?"
Seth: "I just love you. I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream: 'I love my best friend, Evan.'"

mybestfriend.wav(145K) mybestfriend.mp3(66K)

Evan: "Why don't we say that every day? Why can't we say it more often?"
Seth: "I just love you. I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream: 'I love my best friend, Evan.'"

boop.wav(41K) boop.mp3(19K)

Seth: "Boop, boop, boop."

itsthem.wav(125K) itsthem.mp3(57K)

Evan: "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. It's them."
Seth: "What the bleep do we do, man?"
Evan: "Don't stop."

pukeonyou.wav(220K) pukeonyou.mp3(100K)

Becca: "I didn't puke on you, did I?"
Evan: "Uh, you didn't. I remember that you-- I avoided it. It whizzed right by me, and I said, 'Stay away from me,' you know."