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Mike McDermott (Matt Damon): "Listen, here's the thing, if you can't spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker."

Mike: "If you're too carefull, your whole life can become a bleepin' grind."

Mike: "Gimmie three stacks of high society."

Joey Knish (John Turturro): "You're making a run at it aren't you? Rolling up a stake and going to Vegas."

Mike: "No-Limit Texas Hold'Em is the caddilac of poker."

Knish: "It happens to everyone, from time to time, everyone goes bust. You'll be back in the game before you know it."

Mike: "The judges game, I'd heard about it for years on the street before I was even in law school. A rotating group of judges, prosecutors, and professors. They all had money, and in my playing days, it would have been sweet having anyone of them owing me favors. The only problem is, no one can get in the game anymore. One rounder, Crispy Linetta, sat under some pretence, but when they found out he was a pro, he couldn't cross the street without a legal hassle. Even his regular club Vorshay's, got shut down. The place had been open since 1907."

Mike: "I tell ya, It's hard leaving that game, an open invitation to lay with thos lambs, but I'm retired."

Mike: "The truth is, I can always find games though; easy games, tough games, straight games, crooked games, home games. I can turn this truck onto the turnpike and be at the Taj in two hours."

Roy (Eric LaRay Harvey): "That's the fourth time you done played that bitch of spades on my ass."

Lester 'Worm' Murphy (Edward Norton): "Whatever, get in it and drive me far away from here."

Mike: "It was a real blood game over at KGB's place."
Worm: "You sat down with the mad russian and he emptied your pockets."

Mike: "In confessions of a winning poker player, Jack King said "Few players recall big pots they have won, strange as it seams, but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career." It seams true to me, cause walking in here, I can hardly remember how I built my bankroll, but I can't stop thinking about the way I lost it."

Mike: "Really, well, I'm not much of a card player."
Barbara (Melina Kanakaredes): "Bullbleep, Wrom tells me that's exactly what you are. My cut is Twenty-Five percent."

Worm: "You know what, bleep you and you're neverending string of boats."

Mike: "Amarillo Slim, the greatist proposition gambler of all time held to his fathers maxim; You can shear a sheep many times, but you can skin him only once."

Mike: "Speaking of witch, Are you even gonna get a job? Are you even gonna look, or are you just gonna go back to printing those credit cards?"
Worm: "Hey."
Mike: "Huh, are you gonna go away again?"
Worm: "I wasn't printing; I was distibuting, distributing, it's different."

Mike: "Why does this still seam like gambling to you? I mean, why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the world series of poker every single year? What are they, the luckiest guys in Las Vegas? It's a skill game Jo."

Abe Petrovsky (Martin Landau): "The last thing I took from the Yeshiva is this, We can't run from who we are. Our destiny chooses us."

Mike: "Things haven't been that smooth on the homefront so, tone it down a little."
Worm: "Tone down what motherbleeper."
Mike: "Great."

Mike: "I knew it, I bleepin' knew it."

Worm: "It's just like the saying says, In the poker game of life, wom are the rake. Their the bleepin' rake."
Mike: "What the bleep are you talking about, what saying?"
Worm: "I don't know, ther ought to be one."

Worm: "You know what cheers me up when I'm felling bleepty?"
Mike: "What?"
Worm: "Rolled up aces over kings."
Mike: "Is that right?"
Worm: "Check raising stupid tourists,and taking huge pots off 'em."
Mike: "Oh yeah?"
Worm: "Stacks and towers of Checks I can't see over, playing all night High-Limit Hold'Em at the Taj, where the sand turns to gold."
Mike: "bleep it, let's go"
Worm: "Don't tease me."
Mike: "Let's play some bleepin' cards."

Mike: "bleep it, let's go"
Worm: "Don't tease me."
Mike: "Let's play some bleepin' cards."

Worm: "Look, I got certain needs I gotta attend to. I mean, I'm overdo."
Mike: "Good man, I was stating to wonder about you. I thought maybe, you know, the boys upstate, you know, brought about a few changes in you."

Knish: "I was actually gonna try and make some real money tonight, but in honor of Mike's Ali-like return to the ring, I'll sit with you all for a while."

Mike: "So, what do you owe him?"
Worm: "I don't know, by his crazy bleepin' gorilla math... like fifteen."

Mike: "Will you stop bleeping around for five bleep damn minutes for once in your bleeping life."
Worm: "Whoa, jesus, what happened. My old man just walked in the door."
Mike: "Maybe I should beat the bleep out of you the way he used to."

Worm: "Remember when we found this place man?"
Mike: "Yeah, I remember whe we found thsi place, when you were hiding out from Tommy Manzy, 'cause you thought he was going to bleeping pound you into an oblivion."
Worm: "Yeah, now, see, what did I ever do to that guy?"
Mike: "You bleeped his mother."

Worm: "You know what, stop worrying about me so much, ok, I'm turning things around. I'm not gonna let anyone drop a garbage can on my head."
Mike: "No, no, you're gonna get out of the way and it's gonna land on me."

Mike: "I'm gonna raise. 1000 straight."
Teddy KGB (John Malkovich): "Very agressive, A new day, and you won't be pushed around, but I reraise, 5000."

Teddy KGB: "Just like a young man coming in for a quickie, I fell so unsitisfied."

Mike: "You know what, I got my five grand here, and that's just fine by me. I'm going home."
Teddy KGB: "Fine, It's a bleeping joke anyway, after all, I am paying you with your money."
Mike: "What'd you say?"
Teddy KGB: "Your money, I am still up twenty grand from the last time I stick it in you."

Mike: "I told Worm you can't win what you don't put in the middle, (Deal) but, you can't win much either."

Teddy KGB: "Lays down a monster, should have paid me off on that, the bleep did you lay that down?"

Teddy KGB: "Mr. Son Of Bitch, Let's play some bleeping cards."

Mike: "The rule is this, you spot a man's tell, you don't say a bleeping word."

Mike: "Alright, I'll call the two grAnd I'll gamble. Don't splash the pot."
Teddy KGB: "You're on a draw Mike? Go away, this one is not good for you, and in my club, I will splash the pot whenever the bleep I please."

Mike: "I flopped the nut strait."
Teddy KGB: "Motherbleeper, (speeking russian) motherbleeper, that is it."

Teddy KGB: "This son of bitch all night, he check check check, he trapped me."

Mike: "Well, you felling satisfied now Teddy? 'Cause I can go on busting you up all night."

Teddy KGB: "He beat me straight up. Pay him. Pay that man his money."

Joe (Gretchen Mol): "Hey, call me, if you need a lawyer."
Mike: "I will, and I will."