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SOLDIER #1 (Michael Palin): "It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut."

CART-MASTER (Eric Idle): "Bring out your dead!"

ARTHUR (Graham Chapman): "Shut up, will you. Shut up!"
DENNIS (Michael Palin): "Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.ARTHUR: Shut up!"
DENNIS: "Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!"

ARTHUR: "Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left."
BLACK KNIGHT (John Cleese): "Yes I have."
ARTHUR: "Look!"
BLACK KNIGHT: "Just a flesh wound."

BLACK KNIGHT: "I'm invincible!"
ARTHUR: "You're a looney"

MONKS: "(chanting) Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. (bonk)"

VILLAGER #3: "Well, she turned me into a newt."
BEDEVERE: "A newt?"
VILLAGER #3: "I got better."

GALAHAD: "Look, let me go back in there and face the peril."
LAUNCELOT: "No, it's too perilous."
GALAHAD: "Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can."
LAUNCELOT: "No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!"
GALAHAD: "Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?"
LAUNCELOT: "No. It's unhealthy."
GALAHAD: "I bet you're..."

FRENCH GUARD: "You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
GALAHAD: "Is there someone else up there we could talk to?"
FRENCH GUARD: "No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!"

KNIGHTS OF NI: "Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!"
ARTHUR: "Who are you?"
HEAD KNIGHT: "We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'!"
RANDOM: "Ni!"
ARTHUR: "No! Not the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!"

TIM: "Well, that's no ordinary rabbit."
ARTHUR: "Ohh."
TIM: "That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on."

ARTHUR: "Run away!"
KNIGHTS: "Run away! Run away!..."

SECOND BROTHER: "And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits"

BRIDGEKEEPER: "What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
ARTHUR: "What do you mean? An African or European swallow?"
BRIDGEKEEPER: "Huh? I-- I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!"

ARTHUR: "In the name of the Lord, we demand entrance to this sacred castle!"
FRENCH GUARD: "No chance, English bed-wetting types. I burst my pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing, you tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!"