All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).
mp1.wav(77K) mp1.mp3(77K) mp1.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
SOLDIER #1 (Michael Palin): "It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut."
mp2.wav(35K) mp2.mp3(35K) mp2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
CART-MASTER (Eric Idle): "Bring out your dead!"
mp3.wav(121K) mp3.mp3(121K) mp3.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
ARTHUR (Graham Chapman): "Shut up, will you. Shut up!"
DENNIS (Michael Palin): "Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.ARTHUR: Shut up!"
DENNIS: "Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!"
mp4.wav(61K) mp4.mp3(61K) mp4.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
ARTHUR: "Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left."
BLACK KNIGHT (John Cleese): "Yes I have."
BLACK KNIGHT: "Just a flesh wound."
mp5.wav(32K) mp5.mp3(32K) mp5.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
BLACK KNIGHT: "I'm invincible!"
ARTHUR: "You're a looney"
mp6.wav(118K) mp6.mp3(118K) mp6.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
MONKS: "(chanting) Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. (bonk)"
mp7.wav(54K) mp7.mp3(54K) mp7.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
VILLAGER #3: "Well, she turned me into a newt."
BEDEVERE: "A newt?"
VILLAGER #3: "I got better."
mp9.wav(114K) mp9.mp3(114K) mp9.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
GALAHAD: "Look, let me go back in there and face the peril."
LAUNCELOT: "No, it's too perilous."
GALAHAD: "Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can."
LAUNCELOT: "No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!"
GALAHAD: "Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?"
LAUNCELOT: "No. It's unhealthy."
GALAHAD: "I bet you're..."
mp8.wav(135K) mp8.mp3(135K) mp8.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
FRENCH GUARD: "You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
GALAHAD: "Is there someone else up there we could talk to?"
FRENCH GUARD: "No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!"
mp10.wav(74K) mp10.mp3(74K) mp10.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
KNIGHTS OF NI: "Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!"
ARTHUR: "Who are you?"
HEAD KNIGHT: "We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'!"
ARTHUR: "No! Not the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!"
mp11.wav(76K) mp11.mp3(76K) mp11.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
TIM: "Well, that's no ordinary rabbit."
TIM: "That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on."
mp12.wav(38K) mp12.mp3(38K) mp12.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
ARTHUR: "Run away!"
KNIGHTS: "Run away! Run away!..."
mp13.wav(116K) mp13.mp3(116K) mp13.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
SECOND BROTHER: "And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits"
mp14.wav(130K) mp14.mp3(130K) mp14.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
BRIDGEKEEPER: "What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
ARTHUR: "What do you mean? An African or European swallow?"
BRIDGEKEEPER: "Huh? I-- I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!"
mp15.wav(180K) mp15.mp3(180K) mp15.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
ARTHUR: "In the name of the Lord, we demand entrance to this sacred castle!"
FRENCH GUARD: "No chance, English bed-wetting types. I burst my pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing, you tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!"