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Mrs. Scarlett: "Maybe there IS life after death"
Mrs. White: "Life after death is improbable as sex after marriage."

Mr. Green: "So it was you, I was going to expose you."
Wadsworth: "I know, so I chose to expose myself."
Col. Mustard: "Please! There are ladies present."

Wadsworth: "Like the mounties, we always get our man."
Mr. Green: "Mrs. Peacock was a man?!"