Movie Quotes - Movie Sounds - Movie Wavs

 






 

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All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).


microsoft.wav(131K) microsoft.mp3(131K) microsoft.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth Davis (Giovanni Ribisi): "I read this article a while back that said that Microsoft employs more millionaire secretaries than any other company in the world. They took stock options over Christmas bonuses. It was a good move."


justwantedin.wav(421K) justwantedin.mp3(421K) justwantedin.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "I remember there was this photograph of one of the groundskeepers next to his Ferrrari. Blew my mind. You see bleep like that, and it just plants seeds, makes you think it's possible, even easy. And then you turn on the TV, and there's just more of it. The 87 million dollar lottery winner. That kid actor that just made $20 million on his last movie. That internet stock that shot through the roof. You could have made millions on it if you'd just got in early. And that's exactly what I wanted to do: get in. I didn't want to be an innovator. I just wanted to make the quick and easy buck. I just wanted in."


easybuck.wav(55K) easybuck.mp3(55K) easybuck.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "I didn't want to be an innovator. I just wanted to make the quick and easy buck."


notoriousbig.wav(220K) notoriousbig.mp3(220K) notoriousbig.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Notorious B.I.G. said it best: Either your slinging crack rock, or you got a wicked jump shot.' Nobody wants to work for it anybore. There's no honor in taking the after school job at Mickey D's. Honor's in the dollar, kid. So I went the white boy way of slinging crack rock. I became a stock broker."


chocaine.wav(156K) chocaine.mp3(156K) chocaine.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Adam (Jamie Kennedy): "Yo, homes, I need some chocaine. I need some motherbleepin' nose candy. I need some cizzy up my nizzy 'cause I need to get high like a motherbleeper. You know what I'm sayin'? So give me some of that nose candy' motherbleeper. Bring that table over here, Biatch."




iwasbornin.wav(41K) iwasbornin.mp3(41K) iwasbornin.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

James Brown: "I was born in New York City."


donttouch.wav(23K) donttouch.mp3(23K) donttouch.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Don't touch the cards. Don't touch the cards."


rollercoaster.wav(21K) rollercoaster.mp3(21K) rollercoaster.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Roller coaster, ups and downs, you know that."


placeyourbets.wav(28K) placeyourbets.mp3(28K) placeyourbets.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "All right, place your bets."


yournewride.wav(34K) yournewride.mp3(34K) yournewride.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Oh, bleep. Wait, is that your new ride?"


24-7youknow.wav(61K) 24-7youknow.mp3(61K) 24-7youknow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Yeah, we thought we were done for the night."
Adam: "Too late to get a couple hands in?"
Seth: "No, no, no. 24-7. You know that."


sandwiches.wav(39K) sandwiches.mp3(39K) sandwiches.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Hey, Steve, uh, could you get us a couple sandwiches?"


kiddietable.wav(127K) kiddietable.mp3(127K) kiddietable.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "All right, how much you want?"
Greg Weinstein (Nicky Katt): "Five dimes."
Seth: "Jeff."
Adam: "You had to do it, didn't you? You gotta make me look like I'm at the kiddie table."
Greg: "If the shoe fits kid. Come on."
Adam: "bleepin' rich man."


abusiness.wav(413K) abusiness.mp3(413K) abusiness.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "I'm... I'm rinning a business, and I'm... and I'm just earning a living."
Judge Marty Davis (Ron Rifkin): "Earning a living? Is this what you call earning a living? Is that earning a living, huh?(throws poker chips across the table)"
Mrs. Davis (Donna Mitchell): "Marty, are those drugs?"
Seth: "Yes."
Mrs. Davis: "Yes, those are drugs?"
Seth: "No, Mom. This is... This is an honest living. And... And you can ask any one of my customers."
Judge Marty Davis: "What do you mean, 'customers'? Where's there customerS? They're children of people in this community. How do you think I got these? Anyway, it's illegal. You're running a backdoor card game, Seth! You know, how do you think this reflects on me? I'm a judge, for christ's sake! Are you listening to me?"


arethosedrugs.wav(18K) arethosedrugs.mp3(18K) arethosedrugs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mrs. Davis: "Marty, are those drugs?"


listeningtome.wav(23K) listeningtome.mp3(23K) listeningtome.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Judge Marty Davis: "Are you listening to me?"


workforyou.wav(186K) workforyou.mp3(186K) workforyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "So, you want me to come work for you? What? I guess it'll be like retrobution for me taking all your money here?"
Greg: "First of all, I am not done with you here, all right? And, no, you're only gonna work for me a short time. You pass the Series Seven. You know, you learn the ropes. You're on your own."


gonnabeblunt.wav(43K) gonnabeblunt.mp3(43K) gonnabeblunt.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "I'm gonna be blunt. You know, I mean, we're talking about millions of dollars!"


longisland.wav(309K) longisland.mp3(309K) longisland.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "I was making good money with the casino but these guys were mackin' it hard. That's the level I wanted to be opperating on. So I drove out to Long Island, way out. The office was a good hour away from Wall Street. Somebody forgot to tell the guys who worked there, though. They looked and acted like they took the six train to fulton Street every morning. But it wasn't Wall Street. It was exit 53 on the Long Island Expressway, a good hour from the New York Stock Exchange."


mackinithard.wav(72K) mackinithard.mp3(72K) mackinithard.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "I was making good money with the casino but these guys were mackin' it hard. That's the level I wanted to be opperating on."


idontneed.wav(73K) idontneed.mp3(73K) idontneed.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chris Varick (Vin Diesel): "I don't need your bisiness; I value it. I'm successful to the point where I don't need to chase your business."


outtahere.wav(43K) outtahere.mp3(43K) outtahere.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chris: "Hey kid, get the bleep outta here!"


interview.wav(154K) interview.mp3(154K) interview.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Yeah, group interview, my ass. It was like a Hitler Youth rally, in retrospect. The guy who pitched us, Jim Young, was the head recruiter there."
Jim Young (Ben Affleck): "Okay, guys, let's go."
Seth: "Between him and Michael, honestly, they could sell bubble gum in the lockjaw ward at Bellevue."


thisismyseat.wav(261K) thisismyseat.mp3(261K) thisismyseat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "I'm sorry, man. This is my seat."
Kid (Mark Webber): "Oh, bleep. I'm so sorry."
Jim: "It's okay. Don't worry about it."
Rude Kid (Carlo Vogel): "bleepin' dumb-ass."
Jim: "Get the bleep outta here."
Rude Kid: "What?"
Jim: "Don't talk to be. Don't look at me. Just pick your ass up out of that Italian leather chair and get the bleep out of this room, right now. Come on, let's go, schlepp rock, out!"


seriesseven.wav(177K) seriesseven.mp3(177K) seriesseven.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "Okay, before we get started, I have one question. Has anyone here passed a Series Seven exam?"
Series Seven Kid (Matthew Saldívar): "I have a Series Seven license."
Jim: "Good for you. You can get out too."
Series Seven Kid: "What? Why?"
Jim: "We don't hire new brokers here. We train new ones. That's it, Skippy. Pack your bleep. Let's go."


firstmillion.wav(214K) firstmillion.mp3(214K) firstmillion.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "If you become an employee of this firm, you will make your first million within three years. Okay? I'm gonna repeat that. You will make a million dollars within three years of your first day of employment at J.T. Marlin. There is no question as to whether or not you'll become a millionaire working here. The only question is how many times over."


millionaire.wav(132K) millionaire.mp3(132K) millionaire.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "You think I'm joking? I am not joking. I am a millionaire. It's a weird thing to hear, right? I'll tell ya. It's a weird thing to say. I am a bleeping millionaire."


howoldiam.wav(258K) howoldiam.mp3(258K) howoldiam.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "I am a bleeping millionaire. And guess how old I am. Twenty-seven. You know what that makes me here? A bleepin' senior citizen. This furm is entirely comprised of people your age, not mine. Lucky for me, I'm very bleeping good at my job, or I'd be out of one. You gups are the new blood. You're gonna go home with the kessef. You are the future big swinging dicks of this firm."


moneyhungry.wav(138K) moneyhungry.mp3(138K) moneyhungry.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "Now, you all look money hungry, and that's good. Anybody tells you money is the root of all evil doesn't bleepin' have any. They say money can't buy happiness? Look at the bleepin' smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby."


details.wav(163K) details.mp3(163K) details.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "You want details? Fine. I drive a Ferrari 355 Cabriolet. What's up? I have a rediculous house in the South Fork. I have every toy you could possibly imagine. And best of all, kids, I am liquid."


whatsrequired.wav(318K) whatsrequired.mp3(318K) whatsrequired.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "So, now that you know what's possible. Let me tell you what's required. You are required to work your bleeping ass off at this firm. We want winners here, not pikers. A piker walks at the bell. A piker asks how much vacation time you get in the first year. Vacation time? People come and work at this firm for one reason: to become filthy rich. That's it. We're not here to make friends. We're not savin' the bleepin' manatees here, guys. You want vacation time? Go teach third grade, public school."


dontwastemy.wav(706K) dontwastemy.mp3(706K) dontwastemy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "The first three months at the firm are as a trainee. You make $150 a week. After you're done training, you take the Series Seven. You pass that, you become a junior broker and you're opening accounts for your team leader. You open 40 accounts, you start workin' for yourself. Sky's the limit. Word or two about being a trainee. Friends, parents, other brokers, whoever, they're gonna give you bleep about it. It's true. $150 a week? Not a lot of money. Pay them no mind. You need to learn this business, and this is the time to do it. Once you pass the test, none of that's gonna matter. Your friends are bleep. You tell them you made 25 grand last month, they're not gonna bleepin' believe you. bleep them! bleep 'em! Parents don't like the life you lead? 'bleep you, Mom and Dad.' See how it feels when you're makin' their bleepin' Lexus payments. Now, go home and think about it. Think about whether or not this is really for you. If you decide it isn't, listen, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's not for everyone. Thanks. But if you really want this, you call me on Monday and we'll talk. Just don't waste my bleepin' time."


igotsmacked.wav(148K) igotsmacked.mp3(148K) igotsmacked.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Judge Marty Davis: "I mean, my god, if I'd called my father to meet me for a cup of coffee to talk about my screwups, he probably would've laughed. We didn't have nice little chats about why I was a bad boy. I got smacked. And I didn't do it again. Much simpler."


relationship.wav(210K) relationship.mp3(210K) relationship.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Look, you know, I'm just trying to restore what's left of our relationship. I mean..."
Judge Marty Davis: "'Relationship'? What the bleep are you talking about, relationship? What, are we dating? I'm not your gurlfriend Seth; I'm your father. Clean up your life, make an honest living and then you and I can talk like normal people, all right?"


idisagree.wav(127K) idisagree.mp3(127K) idisagree.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Abbie Halpert (Nia Long): "Um, you know, I don't know how to better explain this to you but, it's over."
Greg: "Okay. I disagree."


thetruthis.wav(94K) thetruthis.mp3(94K) thetruthis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "The truth is, it deosn't really even matter these days. With the Dow where it is now, everybody wants a piece of the market. I can close anyone anytime anywhere in the country. Just give me a phone number."


contactsport.wav(166K) contactsport.mp3(166K) contactsport.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "This entire business revolves around the phone. Play the numbers. This is a contact sport. The more people you contact, the better you'll do. I mean a good broker makes over 700 calls a day."
Seth: "What? What's the phone bill like here?"
Greg: "This month was aproaching 400,000."


alwaysbeclosing.wav(181K) alwaysbeclosing.mp3(181K) alwaysbeclosing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "Now, now, listen to me. Even though you're not actually selling stock yet, I want you to remember the code we have here, okay? Did you see Glengarry Glen Ross?"
Seth: "Yeah."
Greg: "Okay, do you remember 'ABC'?"
Seth: "Yeah. 'Always be closing.'"
Greg: "That's right. 'Always be closing.' 'Telling's not selling.' That's the attitude you wanna have, okay."


tworules.wav(799K) tworules.mp3(799K) tworules.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "Now there's two rules you have to remember as a trainee. Number one: We don't pitch the bitch here."
Seth: "What?"
Greg: "We don't sell stock to women. I don't care who it is; we don't do it. Nancy Sinatra calls, you tell her you're sorry. They're a constant pain in the ass and your never gonna hear the end of it. All right? They're gonna call you every furking day wanting to know why the stock is dropping. And god forbid the stock should go up. You're gonna hear from them every bleepin' 15 minutes. It's just not worth it. Don't pitch the bitch."
Seth: "Okay, yeah. Don't pitch the bitch."
Greg: "Number two: Don't write wood, all right? A lot of trainees are so anxious to get off the phone that they just steamroll the guy into getting the press packet so they can hang up. Then I call back, and I'm, like, 'Hi. You spoke to a junior associate of mine last month.' And the guy's like 'Yeah, not interested. Bye.' That's a bleepty lead, okay? That's bleeping wood. The info we send is bullbleep, all right? The most important part is telling them you have that one great idea and that a senior broker's gonna call them back in a month. This way they don't think we fire off a million recos a day. We don't want our clients thinkin' you're pitchg them something you read in the Journal this mornin', right?"
Seth: "Yeah, right."
Greg: "Okay, so no wood. I'm serious. No wood."
Seth: "All right. All right. Take it easy. Take it easy."
Greg: "Hey, don't even start that bleepin' bleep with me, okay? I'm tryin' to tell you what's expected of you and what you job is. I'm tryin' to make the job easier here, okay? Don't give me any of that bleepin' lip."


wedontsell.wav(218K) wedontsell.mp3(218K) wedontsell.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "We don't pitch the bitch here."
Seth: "What?"
Greg: "We don't sell stock to women. I don't care who it is; we don't do it. Nancy Sinatra calls, you tell her you're sorry. They're a constant pain in the ass and your never gonna hear the end of it. All right? They're gonna call you every furking day wanting to know why the stock is dropping. And god forbid the stock should go up. You're gonna hear from them every bleepin' 15 minutes. It's just not worth it. Don't pitch the bitch."


dontwritewood.wav(169K) dontwritewood.mp3(169K) dontwritewood.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "Don't write wood, all right? A lot of trainees are so anxious to get off the phone that they just steamroll the guy into getting the press packet so they can hang up. Then I call back, and I'm, like, 'Hi. You spoke to a junior associate of mine last month.' And the guy's like 'Yeah, not interested. Bye.' That's a bleepty lead, okay? That's bleeping wood."


getanewsuit.wav(31K) getanewsuit.mp3(31K) getanewsuit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "That suit's dogbleep. Get a new suit."


yourskirt.wav(142K) yourskirt.mp3(142K) yourskirt.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Broker: "I know you're not sitting at home with a bag of cash, waiting for me to call you, okay. But I'm not some 18 year old selling a cure for AIDS. I am 46 years old. I have 22 years of market experience. I know this business. So pick up your skirt, grab your balls and let's make some money."


ronjeremy.wav(60K) ronjeremy.mp3(60K) ronjeremy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "I hope this is better than the last batch of bleep you gave me. Produced more wood than Ron Jeremy."


yelltimber.wav(178K) yelltimber.mp3(178K) yelltimber.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "I don't want you to yell 'reco' anymore. Know what you should yell? 'Timber!' Yeah, Mr. bleepin' wood. I hear you bleepin' makin' your calls. It's bullbleep, all right? I mean if you want them off the phone so bad, why don't you just hang up? You should get them excited. You know, excited? They should beg for a broker on the first call."


hangup.wav(137K) hangup.mp3(137K) hangup.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "Hang up. Hang up the phone."
Seth: "Thank you. That's nice for you to do that for me."
Greg: "First of all, there's gonna be a lot of these regardless of how good you are but you happen to suck big fat ass rhinoceros dick."
Seth: "Well, thank you. That's confidence inspiring."


champion.wav(46K) champion.mp3(46K) champion.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chris: "How do you get away with this?"
Greg: "'Cause I'm a Jew and I have the mind of a champion."


onlybookie.wav(25K) onlybookie.mp3(25K) onlybookie.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "Only bookie in New York that delivers FedEx."


todowithit.wav(52K) todowithit.mp3(52K) todowithit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "What I did know is that they had all the money in the world and not a clue what to do with it."


gekko.wav(537K) gekko.mp3(537K) gekko.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "What's goin' on? I'm lookin' at 200,000 shares moved, pal. I wanna know if we're part of it? We'd better be, or I'm gonna come down and eat your lunch for ya. Back in two, Alex."
Jim: "Look. I loved it at forty. Fifty? It's an insult. Their analysts? They don't know a preferred stock from livestock. They wait till it goes down, and like gumdrops and sperm counts..."
Chris: "This is the kid. Calls me 59 days in a row. Wants to be a player. Oughta be a picture of you in the dictionary under 'Persistant', kid. Yeah? Now, listen, Jerry, I'm looking for negative control. Okay? No more than 30, 35 percent. Just enough to block anybody else's merger plans and find out from the inside if the books are cooked. Looks this good on paper, we're in the kill zone, pal. Lock and load. Lunch? Aw, You gotta be kidding. Lunch is for wimps. Okay, Fidel, I'll talk at you."


reco.wav(19K) reco.mp3(19K) reco.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Reco!"


thedoctor.wav(1443K) thedoctor.mp3(1443K) thedoctor.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chris: "Hi, Dr. Jacobs? This is Chris Marlin over at J.T. Marlin."
Dr. Jacobs (Peter Maloney): "Marlin?"
Chris: "Right. He's my father."
Richie O'Flaherty (Scott Caan): "He's my mother."
Chris: "So, my associate tells me you're interested in one of our stocks."
Doctors Secretary: "Your wife's on three."
Dr. Jacobs: "I will call her back. Uh, yes. M.S.C. sounds like it might be interesting."
Chris: "Might me? 'Might be' doesn't sell stock at the rate M.S.C.'s going for, Dr. Jacobs. 'Cause we're talking very high volume here."
Dr. Jacobs: "Well, I still have to run it by my people."
Chris: "That's great, Doc, if you wanna miss yet another opportunity here and watch your colleagues get rich doing clinical trials and don't buy a share and hang up the phone."
Dr. Jacobs: "Well, hold on a second. Now, I didn't say that. I just want to talk about it some more."
Chris: "Honestly, Doc, I don't have the time. This stock is blowing up right now. The whole firm's going nuts. Hold on. Let me open up the door to my office. See that, Doc? That's my trading floor. Now, I have a million calls to make to a million othre doctors who are already in the know. I can't walk you through this right now. I'm sorry."
Dr. Jacobs: "Okay, okay. Let's do this."
Chris: "Now, since you're a new account, I can't go higher than 2,000 shares. I'm sorry."
Dr. Jacobs: "2000? Are you nuts? That is way beyond what I was thinking. 2,000? Jesus! Listen, I'm curious, why can't you sell me any more than that?"
Chris: "Well, we like to establish a relationship with our clients on something small before we get to the more serious trades. Let me show you several percentage points on this small trade and then we'll talk about doing future business."
Dr. Jacobs: "That sounds good. Give me the 2,000 shares."
Chris: "Done."
Dr. Jacobs: "You sure you can't do any better on this one?"
Chris: "I'm sorry, Dr. Jacobs. I can't. I'm sorry."
Dr. Jacobs: "Oh, all right, we'll start with this trade, then."
Chris: "I promise we'll swing for the fences on the next one. Do you want that confirmation sent to your office or your mansion?"
Dr. Jacobs: "Ha, ha, very funny, Mr. Marlin."
Chris: "Let me put my secretary on, and she'll take down your info. It was a pleasure doing business with you. Done and done."
Everyone: "(cheering)"


whatsarip.wav(338K) whatsarip.mp3(338K) whatsarip.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "What's a rip?"
Chris: "A rip, a commission. That's why we work here. We make huge rips."
Seth: "No, I don't... I still don't know how it works."
Chris: "A... Okay, a two dollar rip, which is unheard of anywhere on Wall Street..."
Seth: "Right?"
Chris: "...means that we're walkin' away with two dollars for every share we sell. Real money. That's opportunity. Jesus, Greg, you show him where the bathroom is yet?"
Greg: "Yeah, Seth, I showed you where Chris's desk is, right?"


3percentreturn.wav(95K) 3percentreturn.mp3(95K) 3percentreturn.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chris: "Point is: Service your client right, and he'll be back for more. Show him a three percent return, and he'll trust you to watch his kids for the weekend."


erection.wav(47K) erection.mp3(47K) erection.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "What are you, last nights erection?"
Seth: "Yeah, well, you know."


embarrassed.wav(100K) embarrassed.mp3(100K) embarrassed.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Look, if you couldn't pull $3000 together then your name wouldn't be on my desk during business hours. John, you're embarrassing me. I'm pitching you from under my desk. I'm actually embarrassed right now."


bobberude.wav(107K) bobberude.mp3(107K) bobberude.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Bob, Bob, be rude. Be rude. Hang up the phone. You won't. You wanna know why? Because you see value. I am... I am your kids' college fund, for chrissakes."


seeanumber.wav(64K) seeanumber.mp3(64K) seeanumber.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "What do you mean, you're gonna pass. Alan, the only people making money passing are N.F.L. Quarterbacks and I don't see a number on your back."


takemeoff.wav(61K) takemeoff.mp3(61K) takemeoff.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Man on phone: "Take me off your list."
Seth: "Fine, fine. I'm gonna take you off my list of successful people today."


salescall.wav(958K) salescall.mp3(958K) salescall.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "(Phone rings) Hello?"
Ron from the Daily News: "Hi, Mr. Dahvis, this is Ron from the Daily News. How you doin' this morning?"
Seth: "It's Davis, and I'm not interested."
Ron: "Okay, I'm sorry to have bothered you. Have a nice day."
Seth: "Wait a minute. Wait, that's your pitch? You consider that a sales call?"
Ron: "Well, um..."
Seth: "You know, I get a call from you guys every Saturday and it's always the same half assed attempt. If you guys wanna close me, you should sell me."
Ron: "All right."
Seth: "All right. Start again."
Ron: "Okay. Hi, this is Ron from the Daily News. How you doin' this morning?"
Seth: "Shitty. What do you want?"
Ron: "It's not what I want, sir. It's what you want."
Seth: "Ron, now we're talkin'. All right. What are you selling me?"
Ron: "I'm offering you a subscription to the Daily News at a substantially reduced price. We're trying to reach out to people that have never had home delivery before."
Seth: "Right, so, basically, everybody who already has a subscription is getting bleeped on this one?"
Ron: "Yeah, I guess so."
Seth: "All right, well, I can handle that. So, tell me, why should I buy your paper? I mean, you know, why... Why shouldn't I get the Times or the Voice, you know?"
Ron: "Well, the Village Voice is free, sir, so if you want it, you should certainly pick it up. But the Daily News offers you something no other paper can: a real taste of New York. We have the best features, more photographs than any other daily in New York and we have the most reliable delivery in the city. Now what do you think?"
Seth: "You know what I think, Ron? I think that was a sales call. Good job, buddy."
Ron: "So you gonna buy a subscription?"
Seth: "No, I already get the Times. (He hangs up)"


itsover.wav(36K) itsover.mp3(36K) itsover.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "All right, that's it. It's over. I'm shuttin' it down."


thosekids.wav(38K) thosekids.mp3(38K) thosekids.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "And get those kids out of my bleepin' house!"


cannolimenorah.wav(53K) cannolimenorah.mp3(53K) cannolimenorah.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "You know what, you got a cannoli you can stick in your mouth?"
Chris: "No, you got a menorah you can shove in your ass?"


hittingit.wav(94K) hittingit.mp3(94K) hittingit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "Don't tell me that's why I'm not hittin' it any more."
Abbie: "Oh, honey, you were never hitting it. And he's not the reason, Greg. You are."


lookingfor.wav(65K) lookingfor.mp3(65K) lookingfor.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Abbie: "So, what are you looking for?"
Seth: "I'm just looking for some chocolate love."


biggerbed.wav(102K) biggerbed.mp3(102K) biggerbed.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Abbie: "Can you buy a bigger bed when you get some money, please?"
Seth: "How big is your bed?"
Abbie: "Bigger than this one."
Seth: "Yeah? You have a huge bed?"


tomywife.wav(424K) tomywife.mp3(424K) tomywife.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Harry Reynard (Taylor Nichols): "Yeah, um, I need to talk to my wife."
Seth: "No, you don't need to do that, Harry."
Harry: "I'll call you reght back."
Seth: "And, I'm going to lunch in five minutes."
Harry: "No, I... I need to talk to her first."
Seth: "Tell, me, Harry, uh, you're at work right now, aren't you?"
Harry: "Yeah."
Seth: "So, what do you do for a living?"
Harry: "Uh, I'm a purchasing manager at a gourmet foods company."
Seth: "So, does part of your job involve making decisions?"
Harry: "Of course."
Seth: "So, when you're making one of these decisions, do you call your wife and ask her what you should do?"
Harry: "Of course not. But that's a little bit different."
Seth: "Different? How is that different? It's your money. You earned it. Besides, you know, all you're doing is investing it. I'm not selling crack here, Harry. You know, she's only gonna be happy when she sees that you made a wise investment for the family. Just... just think of the flip side. When your wife does the shopping, does she call you from pathmart to find out if she can use a coupon for Captain Crunch?"


newport.wav(143K) newport.mp3(143K) newport.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "I was thinking that we should go to the city tonight 'cause, you know, we're always drinking at those bleepty local bars. I think we should go to a decent bar with some decent poo-poo, you know. If I have too look at one more housewife smoking a Newport, I think I'm gonna bleepin' puke."


shotgun.wav(78K) shotgun.mp3(78K) shotgun.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "What's up?"
Greg: "Yeah, you need help?"
Seth: "With what?"
Greg: "Gettin' into the bleepin' child's seat, come on, shotgun."
Seth: "Oh."


thefeminist.wav(66K) thefeminist.mp3(66K) thefeminist.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Adam: "Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my bleepin' cock."


keepitdown.wav(467K) keepitdown.mp3(467K) keepitdown.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gay Man (Neal Lerner): "Hey! Uh, do you guys think you could just try and keep it down some?"
Man in Bar (Uncredited): "You guys are at a ten. We could use you at a two."
Chris: "You gotta be kidding me."
Seth: "I'm sorry about that. Sorry."
Greg: "It's the Chelsie army."
Broker Steve (Daniel Serafini-Sauli): "Why don't you just concentrate on your food intead of us, all right?"
Richie: "Yo, what are you guys eating over there, huh? A little tube steak smothered in underwear, huh? Huh? Huh?"
Gay Man: "Hey, great outfits. Hey, you guys just come fro a city council meeting or are you just trying to get lucky with the bidge and tunnel crowd?"
Greg: "You tell 'em, girl."
Richie: "Hey, you know what they should do with you guys? They should take all of you guys and throw all of you on a bleepin' island somewhere."
Gay Man: "Oh, yeah. Hey, guess what."
Richie: "What?"
Gay Man: "You're on it."
Everybody: "(laughs)"


keepthe40th.wav(238K) keepthe40th.mp3(238K) keepthe40th.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Yes! My first whale. My first account. My book, baby."
Greg: "Seth, I hate to bust in on you little victory speech but uh, that's your 40th account."
Seth: "That's right, I'm out of the junior broker program. I don't work for you no more!"
Greg: "No' that's true. You're out, but that account's mine."
Seth: "What? bleep that. No, I keep the 40th."
Greg: "No, you don't."


workfoyounomo.wav(18K) workfoyounomo.mp3(18K) workfoyounomo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "I don't work for you no more!"


thatbitter.wav(25K) thatbitter.mp3(25K) thatbitter.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Are you that bleeping bitter?"


shutyourmouth.wav(46K) shutyourmouth.mp3(46K) shutyourmouth.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "Do me a favor, shut your fuking mouth, okay? I'm not talkin' to you."


youknowwhat.wav(36K) youknowwhat.mp3(36K) youknowwhat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "You know what? You know what? bleep you! bleep you!"


onmyteam.wav(62K) onmyteam.mp3(62K) onmyteam.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "You're on my team. You understand that? I am not on yours."


thestandard.wav(63K) thestandard.mp3(63K) thestandard.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael Brantley (Tom Everett Scott): "This is not going to be an alternative in the medical world. This is gonna be the standard."


gointodebt.wav(136K) gointodebt.mp3(136K) gointodebt.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "So I want you to go out and buy yourselves a new car. Go buy yourself a house. Go into debt. You are going to make a million dollars inside of six months."


classtrip.wav(99K) classtrip.mp3(99K) classtrip.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Now onto matters of recreation. We're gonna be taking a class trip tonight. So, call your moms and tell them not to wait up."


wholespeach.wav(1457K) wholespeach.mp3(1457K) wholespeach.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "bleepdamn it, you bleepin' guys! I'm gonna keep this short, okay? You passed your Sevens over a month ago. Seth's the only one that's opened the necessary 40 accounts for his team leader. When I was a junior broker, I did it in 26 days. Okay? You're not sending out press packets anymore. None of this 'Debbie the Time-Life operator' bullbleep. So get on the phones! It's time to get to work! Get off your ass! Move around! Motion creates emotion! I remember this one time I had this guy call me up, wanted to pitch me. Right? Wanted to sell me stock, so I let him. I got every bleepin' rebuttal out of this guy. I kept him on the phone for an hour and a half. Towards the end, I asked him buying questions like, 'What's the firm minimum?' That's a buying question. Right there, that guy's gotta take me down. It's not like I asked him 'What's your 800 number?'. That's a bleep-off question. I was giving him a run, and he blew it. Okay? To a question like 'What's the firm minimum?' the answer is zero. You don't like the idea; don't pick up a single share. But this putz in telling me, you know, 'Uh, 100 shares.'. Wrong answer! No! You have to be closing all the time! And be agressive. Learn how to push. Talk to 'em. Ask 'em questins. Ask 'em rhtorical question. It doesn't matter. Anything. Just get a 'yes' out of 'em. 'If you're drowning and I throw a life jacket, would you grab it?' 'Yes!' 'Good. Pick up 200 shares. I won't let you down.' Ask 'em how the'd like to see 30, 40% return. What are they gonna say? 'No'? 'bleep you'? 'I don't wanna see those returns'? Stop laughing. It's not funny. If you can't learn how to close, you better start thinking about another career. And I am deadly serious about that. Dead bleepin' serious! And have your rebuttals ready. A guy says, 'Call me tomorrow', bullbleep! Somebody tells you they got money problems buying 200 shares is lying to you. You know what I say to that? I say, 'Hey look, man. Tell me you don't like my firm. Tell me you don't like my idea. Tell me you don't like my bleepin' necktie. But don't tell me you can't put together 2,500 bucks.' And there's no such thing as a no-sale call. A sale is made on every call you make. Either you sell the client some stock, or he sells you on a reason he can't. Either way, a sale is made. The only question in, 'Who's gonna close?' you or him? And be relentless. That's it. I'm done."


youguys.wav(31K) youguys.mp3(31K) youguys.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "bleepdamn it, you bleepin' guys!"


getoffyourass.wav(205K) getoffyourass.mp3(205K) getoffyourass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "I'm gonna keep this short, okay? You passed your Sevens over a month ago. Seth's the only one that's opened the necessary 40 accounts for his team leader. When I was a junior broker, I did it in 26 days. Okay? You're not sending out press packets anymore. None of this 'Debbie the Time-Life operator' bullbleep. So get on the phones! It's time to get to work! Get off your ass!"


movearound.wav(23K) movearound.mp3(23K) movearound.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "Move around! Motion creates emotion!"


sellmestock.wav(370K) sellmestock.mp3(370K) sellmestock.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "I remember this one time I had this guy call me up, wanted to pitch me. Right? Wanted to sell me stock, so I let him. I got every bleepin' rebuttal out of this guy. I kept him on the phone for an hour and a half. Towards the end, I asked him buying questions like, 'What's the firm minimum?' That's a buying question. Right there, that guy's gotta take me down. It's not like I asked him 'What's your 800 number?'. That's a bleep-off question. I was giving him a run, and he blew it. Okay? To a question like 'What's the firm minimum?' the answer is zero. You don't like the idea; don't pick up a single share. But this putz in telling me, you know, 'Uh, 100 shares.'. Wrong answer! No!"


wronganswer.wav(17K) wronganswer.mp3(17K) wronganswer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "Wrong answer! No!"


questions.wav(270K) questions.mp3(270K) questions.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "You have to be closing all the time! And be agressive. Learn how to push. Talk to 'em. Ask 'em questins. Ask 'em rhtorical question. It doesn't matter. Anything. Just get a 'yes' out of 'em. 'If you're drowning and I throw a life jacket, would you grab it?' 'Yes!' 'Good. Pick up 200 shares. I won't let you down.' Ask 'em how the'd like to see 30, 40% return. What are they gonna say? 'No'? 'bleep you'? 'I don't wanna see those returns'?"


beclosing.wav(24K) beclosing.mp3(24K) beclosing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "You have to be closing all the time!"


notfunny.wav(95K) notfunny.mp3(95K) notfunny.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "Stop laughing. It's not funny. If you can't learn how to close, you better start thinking about another career. And I am deadly serious about that. Dead bleepin' serious!"


2500bucks.wav(200K) 2500bucks.mp3(200K) 2500bucks.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "A guy says, 'Call me tomorrow', bullbleep! Somebody tells you they got money problems buying 200 shares is lying to you. You know what I say to that? I say, 'Hey look, man. Tell me you don't like my firm. Tell me you don't like my idea. Tell me you don't like my bleepin' necktie. But don't tell me you can't put together 2,500 bucks.'."


asaleismade.wav(186K) asaleismade.mp3(186K) asaleismade.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "And there's no such thing as a no-sale call. A sale is made on every call you make. Either you sell the client some stock, or he sells you on a reason he can't. Either way, a sale is made. The only question in, 'Who's gonna close?' you or him?"


thatsitimdone.wav(12K) thatsitimdone.mp3(12K) thatsitimdone.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "That's it. I'm done."


heyshutthe.wav(23K) heyshutthe.mp3(23K) heyshutthe.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "Hey, shut the bleep up!"


thehardsell.wav(1151K) thehardsell.mp3(1151K) thehardsell.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Harry, Harry, listen to this."
Harry: "Jesus bleep, what's gonig on over there?"
Seth: "You see what I'm saying? People know! The whole place is going nuts. It's already up a point, and it just came off the restricted list. Look, I'm advising all my clients to get in on this, and heavy. DOn't you see that you get the same stock that we picked up at eight, only now it's at four. Now, when it was at eight, I said it was going to 20, right?"
Harry: "Yes, you did."
Seth: "Well, it's still going there, probably even higher now. Look, this doesn't change anything except that you're going to be making more money than you did before. Harry, I liked it at eight; I love it at four. It's an average down for you."
Harry: "A what?"
Seth: "It's called dollar-cost averaging. If you own a hundred shares at ten dollars, and you pick up another 100 at 5, that's a net 200 shares at 7.50 a share. Your cost basis is lower. Now, if I get you involved at 10, I take you out at 15, how many points did I make you, Harry?"
Harry: "Five."
Seth: "Exactly. But if I get you involved at seven and a half and I take you out at 15 that's 7 1/2 points. That's even better, isn't it?"
Harry: "Yeah, but I, uh..."
Seth: "Wait, Harry, Harry, let me close the door to my office. One second. All right? I also have a bullet on it. A few days ago, Dan Dorfman on CNBC put a heavy buy recommendation on Farrow Tech. Listen to me, off the record, I just called a broker friend of mine who works at another firm and had him pick me up 50,000 shares under my sister-in-law's name. Harry, I'm gonna put all my kids through college with this stock. Look, I have a thousand more phone calls I have to make. I have to call every one of my clients and give 'em the same opportunity. You remember when we first spoke? I told you that thin firm only has six or seven great ideas a year? Well, Harry, this is one of those ideas. I remember you saying something about wanting to buy a house, right?"
Harry: "Yeah."
Seth: "Well, how'd you like to pay for it tomorrow in cash?"
Harry: "You serious?"
Seth: "Serious as cancer."
Harry: "Okay, all I have is... is the 50,000 from our savings account."


reallygood.wav(23K) reallygood.mp3(23K) reallygood.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Agent David Drew (Bill Sage): "This kid is really good."


peopleslives.wav(733K) peopleslives.mp3(733K) peopleslives.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Judge Marty Davis: "I spoke to Howard Goldberg over at Prudential. You lied again, you unbelievable piece of bleep. You lied to all of us. He told me about J.T. Marlin. It's a chop shop, Seth. You've been selling their bleep all this time. How many people have you bleeped over? Tell me. How many? All that bullbleep about them wanting you to know how the business works, the great training program, remember, all the profits you made for your customers, Did you do anything for them? Tell me, did you make them any money at all? Oh, god, I'm done with you, Seth. This is it. I've had it. I don't want to see you again. I don't want you coming to the house. I don't want you to call. This is worse than the casino, Seth. You've been stealing. Look at me. You're destroying people's lives."


youliedagain.wav(32K) youliedagain.mp3(32K) youliedagain.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Judge Marty Davis: "You lied again, you unbelievable piece of bleep."


thisguynow.wav(20K) thisguynow.mp3(20K) thisguynow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Isaac (Ross Ryman): "bleep, I gotta deal with this guy now."


60000dollars.wav(55K) 60000dollars.mp3(55K) 60000dollars.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Broker (???): "I lost you $60,000 dollars. There is no one who wants to make that money back for you more than I do."


closeawindow.wav(28K) closeawindow.mp3(28K) closeawindow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Richie: "You couldn't close a bleepin' window, you moron!"


sellticket.wav(159K) sellticket.mp3(159K) sellticket.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Greg: "What the bleep is this? Huh? What is this? You think I'm gonna sign a sell ticket for you? What'd I just say? Huh? Get him back on the phone and explain the situation to him, right n... Get on the phone! No one is gonna unload today. You hear me? No one."


thecasino.wav(305K) thecasino.mp3(305K) thecasino.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "I wish my dad could've stepped into the casino just once. He would've had to be impressed: four employees, an organized payroll, huge client list. You know, it's funny looking back. The illegal business I was running was the most legitimate thing I had going. I looked my customers in the eye and provided a service they wanted. Now, I don't even look at my customers and I push them something they never asked for."


stockscam.wav(179K) stockscam.mp3(179K) stockscam.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "You know, we could go in on a couple big trades that J.T. Marlin wants you to invest in, um, and then when the next I.P.O. comes out..."
Judge Marty Davis: "No, stop, stop. Are you asking me to go in on a stock scam with you? What, are you out of your bleeping mind? Are you nuts?"


remember.wav(311K) remember.mp3(311K) remember.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Do you remember this day?"
Judge Marty Davis: "Yes, of course. I bought you that bike."
Seth: "Do you... Do you remember what happened about a month after that?"
Judge Marty Davis: "All right, Seth, what is it? What do you want from me?"
Seth: "Do you remember when I broke... when I broke my leg?"
Judge Marty Davis: "Yes, Seth, I remember you broke your leg. What is it Seth? You were hysterical! I had to get you to stop!"
Seth: "My bleeping leg was broken."


goodatwhatido.wav(150K) goodatwhatido.mp3(150K) goodatwhatido.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "I'm sorry... I'm sorry I coundn't get the job that you wanted me to have. But, I mean, who gives a bleep? 'Cause, I'm... I am good at what I do, Dad. I'm good at what I do!"


helpyourson.wav(231K) helpyourson.mp3(231K) helpyourson.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "And I... And I tried... I tried to make the changes that you wanted me to! And I'm leaving J.T. now! I'm just asking for this one thing. Just this one thing, please! Just to... Help your son!"
Judge Marty Davis: "I can't, Seth. I can't. I'm sorry."


dontcallmy.wav(36K) dontcallmy.mp3(36K) dontcallmy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Abbie: "Seth, I'm gonna get you out of this."
Seth: "Just don't call my father."


myfather.wav(226K) myfather.mp3(226K) myfather.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "No, you take my father out the back door, right now, and you bring him home. He... He has nothing to do with this case. I swear to God, if he ends up in one newspaper, I do not testify. And I mean that. You know, for me... For me, it'd be worth going to jail for."
Agent David Drew: "You serious?"
Seth: "What do you think?"


moresorry.wav(514K) moresorry.mp3(514K) moresorry.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Judge Marty Davis: "When I came up to you behind that car it was the hardest thing I ever had to bear because all I wanted to do was make your pain disappear. I don't even know how to describe the feeling. I just want you to know one thing; Not a single day of my life has gone by that I don't think about that moment, that I don't dream about being back there just to have one more chance. I am more sorry than you will ever know."


cannotstidown.wav(89K) cannotstidown.mp3(89K) cannotstidown.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Richie: "What the bleep are you doing? Stand up" You cannot sit down for the rest of the bleepin' day! Okay? You cannot sit down ever again! Okay?"


talkingabout.wav(26K) talkingabout.mp3(26K) talkingabout.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chris: "What the bleep are you talikng about?!"


theirmoney.wav(146K) theirmoney.mp3(146K) theirmoney.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "Come on, I asked you for months about bleep going down here and you told me to shut the bleep up. You said, get ready to be a millionaire!"
Chirs: "That's right. Shut the bleep up. That's all you had to do. Didn't you learn anything?"
Seth: "I learned how to bleep people out of their money."


theodds.wav(81K) theodds.mp3(81K) theodds.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "What are the chances? What are the odds? That's what I think about. Hey, I ran a casino."


findajob.wav(152K) findajob.mp3(152K) findajob.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Seth: "It's the next step I gotta figure out, 'cause I'm no lottery winner. I tried slinging crack rock, and I never had a jump shot. I gotta find a job."

 
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