Movie Quotes - Movie Sounds - Movie Wavs

 






 

American Pie 2 price at: amazon


All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).


goodbyesex.wav(132K) goodbyesex.mp3(132K) goodbyesex.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Natalie (Joelle Carter): "No strings attached, okay? It's just friendly goodbye sex."
Jim Levinstein (Jason Biggs): "Yeah, right. Right, right, right, right. Uh, yeah, but you see, it's just that, um, we've never even had friendly hello sex."


firsttime.wav(382K) firsttime.mp3(382K) firsttime.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "You see, this is actually my first time. Well, not my first. It's my first time, uh, since my... first time. So technically, that's my second time. And I... I don't... I don't wanna suck at it. So if I'm not up to par, performance-wise..."
Natalie: "Jim, this isn't exactly a turn-on. I mean, girls like a guy with confidence."
Jim: "Hey, I'm confident. Oh, I am... I'm absolutely, totally confident."
Natalie: "Oh?"
Jim: "Yeah."
Natalie: "Let's get naked."
Jim: "Okay."


interrupted.wav(707K) interrupted.mp3(707K) interrupted.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim's Dad (Eugene Levy): "Where's my big guy?"
Natalie: "Oh my god!"
Jim: "Oh, no."
Jim's Dad: "Hey... (Screams.)"
Jim: "Jesus!"
Jim's Dad: "Jim, we got here a little early."
Jim: "Dad, get out!"
Jim's Dad: "I'll wait in the car."
Jim: "Go , Dad! Oh my... Geez."
Natalie: "Was that your dad?"
Jim: "Yeah. I'm so sorry."
Jim's Dad: "For your own edification, son, I just... I'm not embarrassed."
Jim: "I... I am!"
Jim's Dad: "It's a perfectly normal thing for two human beings..."
Jim: "Dad, what are you... what are you doing?"
Jim's Dad: "This is human nature. Human nature at it's best. Son, everybody does it. Your mother and I... Well, not so much anymore."
Mrs. Levinstein (Molly Cheek): "Got your favorite. Oh my god! They're bleeping!"
Jim: "No! No!"
Jim's Dad: "Honey, honey, liston. No, no. I'm gonna take her to the car."
Jim: "Please just go!"
Natalie: "Actually , if you wouldn't mind."
Jim's Dad: "Honey... I'll take her to the car."
Natalie's Mom (Lee Garlington): "Oh!"
Natalie: "Hi, Mama."
Jim: "What?"
Natalie's Dad (Larry Drake): "Natalie!"
Jim's Dad: "I'm Jim's Dad. You must be the parents of this young lady. I'm sorry I didn't get her name, but hopefully my son did, because I have not been here the whole time. I just..."
Natalie's Dad: "Natalie, get dressed!"
Jim's Dad: "Beer?"
Natalie's Dad: "Avert your eyes! You... Turn around!"
Jim: "Oh, my god."
Natalie: "Thanks, Jim. What, you don't believe in locks?"


heya.wav(15K) heya.mp3(15K) heya.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Steve Stifler (Seann William Scott): "Heya, bleepface."


panties.wav(108K) panties.mp3(108K) panties.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Ooh! There's little hearts on her panties! "
Chris 'Oz' Ostreicher (Chris Klein): "Super."
Stifler: "There's little hearts on her panties! Come on, look, you pussy. Look. What the bleep, man? Come on!"




disappointed.wav(162K) disappointed.mp3(162K) disappointed.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "I'm disappointed in you. Here it is, the end of our freshman year and you screw one girl. One. You're a disgrace to men everywhere. I mean, look at the Stifmeister. I got laid 23 times this year, and I'm not counting the hummer I got in the library stacks, baby."


newidea.wav(155K) newidea.mp3(155K) newidea.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Oz: "All right, here's a new idea for you, Stifler, okay? You find a girl. You two become best friends. And you don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other. You just laugh at the people that do count."
Stifler: "Here's a new idea for you. I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass."


finalexam.wav(130K) finalexam.mp3(130K) finalexam.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

College Professor (Phil Hawn): "Okay, people, notebooks closed. Let's get this exam rolling."
Stifler: "Oh bleep, dude. We got an exam today?"
Oz: "You kiddin' me?"
Stifler: "Bullbleep. (Scoffs)"


goddess.wav(216K) goddess.mp3(216K) goddess.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "You got laid in an art museum?"
Paul Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas): "The Met. Oh, and the Guggenheim with Francesca."
Jim: "The Guggenheim?"
Finch: "And then my social-psych professor in Baskin Robbins."
Jim: "Alright, enough, Finch."
Finch: "But I'll tell you, none of these women even compared to."
All: "Sifler's mom."
Finch: "Stifler's mom is a goddess."


somemore.wav(133K) somemore.mp3(133K) somemore.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "How about some more of Stifmeister'r collegiate concoction?"
Christy: "This thing is like half alcohol. You're just trying to get me drunk."
Stifler: "Mary, would I do that?"
Christy: "My name's Christy."
Stifler: "Christy, right, right. Beautiful name. Like it matters."


partners1.wav(181K) partners1.mp3(181K) partners1.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Hey, how you doing? Howdy-Howdy, bleepn' partners! Johnny C., how's it going? God to see you. Oh, looks like someone gained a freshman 15. This will help."
Cowboy Hat Girl (Amanda Armato): "You're an bleephole."
Stifler: "Missed you too. All right, eveybody having a good time? Ladies."


partners2.wav(22K) partners2.mp3(22K) partners2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Howdy-Howdy, bleepin' partners!"


11inch.wav(98K) 11inch.mp3(98K) 11inch.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Ladies, I'm Steve Stifler and I have an 11-inch penis... around! Think about it."


sherman.wav(135K) sherman.mp3(135K) sherman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Sherman!"
Chuck Sherman (Chris Owen): "Okay, Stifler, take your shat. Ha, ha."
Stifler: "No, come on, man. I'm really happy to see you."
Sherman: "All right."
Stifler: "You stupid bleep."


chicks.wav(68K) chicks.mp3(68K) chicks.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "I put the word out so high school chicks would come. Just cause you bleepers don't have dicks doesn't make it right for you to be here, you know."


mymom.wav(106K) mymom.mp3(106K) mymom.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

High School Guy: "Is it true that Paul Finch nailed you mom?"
Stifler: "Sons a bitches. My mom's a saint!"


bootout.wav(20K) bootout.mp3(20K) bootout.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "You see those bleepers I had to boot out of here?"


oldtimes.wav(324K) oldtimes.mp3(324K) oldtimes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kevin Myers (Thomas Ian Nicholas): "Just like old times."
Jim: "Ah, one difference. We're college men now. Some of these girls are from the grade below us. I might actually have a chance."
Girl At Stifler's Party: "Hey, I remember you."
Jim: "Oh do you now?"
Girl At Stifler's Party #1: "You're that guy who blew his load on the internet."
Girl At Stifler's Party #2: "Splat. "Oh, wait Nadia, don't go." Splat."
Girl At Stifler's Party #1: "Pathetic."
Girl At Stifler's Party #2: "Loser."
Finch: "It's exactly like old times."


youpussy.wav(13K) youpussy.mp3(13K) youpussy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "You pussy!"


doinginhere.wav(84K) doinginhere.mp3(84K) doinginhere.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "What the bleep are you doing in here?"
Finch: "Just relax."
Stifler: "You get out of my house!"
Finch: "Jesus bleep!"
Stifler: "Come back here, you little bleeper!"


shakethis.wav(140K) shakethis.mp3(140K) shakethis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "Okay, guys, we went through this last summer, all right? Finch got a black eye and Stifler got six stitches."
Stifler: "Cause you bleepin' bit me!"
Finch: "You touch me, I bite."
Oz: "You two relax and shake hands."
Stifler: "Shake this!"


youretheguy.wav(106K) youretheguy.mp3(106K) youretheguy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jusitn 'MILF' Guy #1 (Justin Isfeld): "Hey, bro. Hey, man, you're the guy who boned Stifler's mom. Hey, you are a god."
John 'MILF' Guy #2 (John Cho): "Holy bleep, dude. If I didn't have to hold my dick cause I gotta piss so bad, I would shake your hand."


therules.wav(611K) therules.mp3(611K) therules.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Oh, look what I found, Christy."
Christy: "Oh, what a coincidence."
Stifler: "I've been saving this for a special occasion for a special girl, just like you."
Christy: "You're so sweet."
Stifler: "That's what they say. Oh, wierd."
Christy: "Oh, my god."
Stifler: "I spilled some on you. Maybe I should mop that up."
Christy: "Thanks."
Stifler: "No problem."
Christy: "Whoa! Whoa, hey. Take it slow. Come on."
Stifler: "Right. You know they warn us about these situations in college. Now, you may be intoxicated. Oh, yeah. Are you certain that you wosh to engage in "consensing"..."
Christy: "Hey, don't count your chickens, buster."
Stifler: "I'm just playing by the rules, baby."
Christy: "I make the rules."
Stifler: "That's a pretty good bleeping rule."


kinky.wav(33K) kinky.mp3(33K) kinky.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "This is kinda kinky and I like that."


warm.wav(28K) warm.mp3(28K) warm.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "How did you get it so nice and warm?"


bubbles.wav(98K) bubbles.mp3(98K) bubbles.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Oh, I can taste the bubbles. Actually, I can't."


ohBLEEP.wav(22K) ohBLEEP.mp3(22K) ohBLEEP.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Oh bleep."


olderguys.wav(166K) olderguys.mp3(166K) olderguys.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "Okay, now, do these high school kids think we're cool because they're at a college party, or are we those weird older guys that try to hang out with high school kind when we come home?"
Oz: "No way, We're definitely not those guys."


peedon.wav(14K) peedon.mp3(14K) peedon.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "I got peed on."


homies.wav(13K) homies.mp3(13K) homies.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim's Dad: "Keep it real, homies."


invited.wav(315K) invited.mp3(315K) invited.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Finch: "Hey guys, I've been running these numbers here and I don't think the four of us can afford this place. Not on summer jobs."
Kevin: "Well, I kind of thought of that. So... I invited someone else."
Stifler: "Oh, yeah! The Stifmeister's coming back to Grand Harbor! Deck the halls! Bye bye, Great Falls! Wipe my ass and lick my balls! It's Stifler time, baby! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!"


behave.wav(144K) behave.mp3(144K) behave.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kevin: "Stifler, if you're gonna be living with us you gotta behave yourself. All right, you and Finch just stay out of each other's way."
Finch: "Kevin, Stifler's stench is unavoidable."
Stifler: "Finch, fist yourself."


tantric.wav(276K) tantric.mp3(276K) tantric.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Will you idiots tell me what this bleeper's doin'?"
Finch: "Don't touch me while I'm tantric."
Stifler: "Tantric? What the bleep is tantric?"
Finch: "It's a buddhist discipline. You learn to channel your body's energies, your chakras. When you can do that, you can have sex for hours, even days."


guests.wav(201K) guests.mp3(201K) guests.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Trumpet Kid (Matthew Peters): "Hey, are you here for the mid-session performance? Guests go in the amphitheater. You can't be here."
Jim: "Do you know where I could find Michelle Flaherty?"
Trumpet Kid: "Guests bring food. Food attracts animals. Yhis one time, a bear came, and then the bear had to be destroyed, which means they shot it in the head with a rifle and killed it and it died."
Jim: "You must know Michelle."


potatoes.wav(42K) potatoes.mp3(42K) potatoes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "Hey, Micehlle."
Michelle Flaherty (Alyson Hannigan): "Jim. Holy potatoes!"


potatoes2.wav(13K) potatoes2.mp3(13K) potatoes2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michelle: "Holy potatoes!"


here.wav(254K) here.mp3(254K) here.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michelle: "Oh, shoot! We're... We're not supposed to have visitors, cause this one time, uh... here, this kid had these cookies..."
Jim: "Let me guess. A bear came."
Michelle: "Cool. It's like youknow all our stories."
Jim: "Oh. Was that a questien?"
Michelle: "I don't know. Maybe. Do you want to answer it anyway?"


weird.wav(130K) weird.mp3(130K) weird.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michelle: "You didn't think I was weird because of the way I acted that night?"
Jim: "Weird, no. Surprising, yes."
Michelle: "I get nasty when I'm horny."


anygood.wav(218K) anygood.mp3(218K) anygood.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "You remember, was I any good that... that night?"
Michelle: "Oh, wow. Geez. How could I forget? You sucked. You didn't know what the hell you were doing. But wasn't it fun even though you were so terrible?"
Jim: "I'm sorry. Terrible?"
Michelle: "I've had worse."
Jim: "Oh."


mynameis.wav(126K) mynameis.mp3(126K) mynameis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "My nome is Petey! Thank you! And I have gigantic balls!"


hesmy.wav(18K) hesmy.mp3(18K) hesmy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michelle: "He's my bitch."


plopakeg.wav(68K) plopakeg.mp3(68K) plopakeg.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kevin: "We plop a keg on the deck, and the girls come in off the beach. It's like a hummingbird feeder."


nicepad.wav(148K) nicepad.mp3(148K) nicepad.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Sherman: "Fellas, nice pad. Good view, but the Sherminator sensors detect no female life forms in the vicinity. High likelihood of a sausagefest in progress."


gotapoint.wav(110K) gotapoint.mp3(110K) gotapoint.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "The Sherminator's got a point, Kev."
Kevin: "Since when do you start listoning to the Sherminator?"
Jim: "Since he made me realize there's an abundance of wiener here."


howmany.wav(89K) howmany.mp3(89K) howmany.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "And how about you, Jessica? How many chicks did you sleep with this year?"
Jessica (Natasha Lyonne): "Gee, wouldn't you like to know."
Stifler: "bleep yeah, I would."


females.wav(70K) females.mp3(70K) females.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Where are the bleepin' females? Jim, can't you leave your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away."


fishin.wav(439K) fishin.mp3(439K) fishin.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Ozzy, go deep."
Oz: "Yeah, bro. You playing?"
Jim: "No."
Stifler: "No, no, keep going. Flag pattern."
Jim: "What are you doin'?"
Stifler: "Fishin'."
Girls On Beach.: "Are you okay? Are you alright? You okay?"
Oz: "Oh, man, I'm so sorry. Is everybody okay?"
Jim: "Amazing."
Stifler: "Yes. The force is strong in that one."


sherminator.wav(359K) sherminator.mp3(359K) sherminator.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Sherman: "The Sherminator detects serious heat at a distance of two meters. Preparing to deploy beer."
Jessica: "Sherman, dude, let me give you a valuable piece of advice, okay? Drop the whole "Sherminator" thing."
Sherman: "Please repeat previous statement."
Jessica: "Look, I know your last name is Sherman, right? And that rhymes with The Terminator which was a big hit movie, what, like, ten years ago. But you can't tell me a girl's ever really gone for it."
Sherman: "System overload. Hasta la vista, Jessica."


ruleof31.wav(265K) ruleof31.mp3(265K) ruleof31.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kevin: "Hey, Vicky only slept with one guy since we went out. I mean, that like makes me 50% of her entire guy related life."
Stifler: "You dipbleep. She didn't sleep with one guy. She slept with at least three."
Kevin: "What?"
Stifler: "When a girl tells you how many guys she slept with, multiply it by three and that's the real number. Didn't you bleepers learn anything at college?"


ruleof32.wav(377K) ruleof32.mp3(377K) ruleof32.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jessica: "Look, he did not sleep with three girls, okay. Much like Sly and the Family Stone aren't gonna dance on in here and gang bang me betweeen the Afros and the bell bottoms, okay. It's not gonna happen. Kevin Meyers did not sleep with three girls at Michigan."
Vicky Lathum (Tara Reid): "But why would he lie to me?"
Jessica: "It's not a lie. It's an adjustment. Alright, it's the rule of three."
Vicky: "The rule of what?"
Jessica: "Three."
Vicky: "A guy tells you how many girls he's hooked up with, it's not even close to that. You take that number and divide it by three. Then you get the real total. So if Kevin's saying it's been three girls, it's more like one, or none."
Jessica: "None?"
Vicky: "Rule of three. It's an exact science, consistant as gravity."


whatdisay.wav(231K) whatdisay.mp3(231K) whatdisay.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Dude, use your bleepin' brain. "Oh, I'm an American college chick. La, la, la. Your European cultureal bleep is so charming. Ooh hey. Hot Spanish guy. Love your accent. Love your ding dong." I'm telling you, man, right now there is a dick in your girlfriend's mouth."
Oz: "Knock it off."
Stifler: "What'd I say?"


livehere.wav(217K) livehere.mp3(217K) livehere.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Guys! Check it out. Lesbians. Lesbians live here."
Finch: "You know Mr. Homophobic Wizard, that it is possible for women to hold hands and not be gay. Friends can hold hands."
Stifler: "Hey, Finch, I don't wanna hear about you and your boyfriends. Go jerk off."


tantra.wav(155K) tantra.mp3(155K) tantra.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Finch: "Tantra teaches you to hold an orgasm over time in anticipation of an ultimate moment to release it upon the world. I'm filling up to the brim."
Stifler: "That's bleeping disgusting! Oh, I'm gonna throw up."


ohhohoho.wav(63K) ohhohoho.mp3(63K) ohhohoho.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Heather (Mena Suvari): "Hey, Oz, I'm reaching under my shirt, and I'm rubbing myself."
Oz: "Oh ho ho ho!"


wrongnumber.wav(170K) wrongnumber.mp3(170K) wrongnumber.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Guy On Telephone: "(Speaking in a Middle Eastern Dialect.)"
Oz: "Hey. Hello. Wrong number."
Guy On Telephone: "(Speaking in a Middle Eastern Dialect.)"
Oz: "All right, look, man. I got my hand on my dick right now, okay, and I'm trying to have sex with my girlfriend over the phone."
Guy On Telephone: "Emir, good for you, man. (Speaking in a Middle Eastern Dialect.)"


whatelse.wav(225K) whatelse.mp3(225K) whatelse.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Heather: "What else do you want me to do?"
Stifler: "(Imitating Oz) Oh, Heather, baby. Why don't you tell me my dick is as big as Stifler's."
Oz: "Stifler, get off!"
Stifler: "I am getting off just listoning to the two of you guys. Keep going."
Heather: "I think we should try this another time."
Oz: "Yeah, all right. Bye bye. I love you."
Heather: "I love you."
Stifler: "Come on, you guys. I was olmost there!"


dildo.wav(141K) dildo.mp3(141K) dildo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Oh, bleep, dude! I found a dildo!"
Jim: "Stifler."
Stifler: "Big blue ruber dicks for everyone! The people demand rubber dicks!"
Jim: "Finch, help. Finch."
Stifler: "Dildo, dildo, dildo!"


artifacts.wav(42K) artifacts.mp3(42K) artifacts.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "What are you doing? What are you doing?"
Stifler: "I'm looking for more lesbian artifacts."


stronghold.wav(86K) stronghold.mp3(86K) stronghold.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "Which room? W-Which room?"
Stifler: "I can't remember bleep, man. I was too excited. I'm in a lesbian stronghold."
Jim: "Uh, was it in here?"
Stifler: "Shit, man. Why are you asking me so many questions?"


donttouch.wav(154K) donttouch.mp3(154K) donttouch.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Don't touch me."
Finch: "I'm not. (Finch looks down and takes a step back.)"
Stifler: "That better not have been what I thought it was."


whowants.wav(115K) whowants.mp3(115K) whowants.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Danielle (Denise Faye): "Who wants me to touch Amber?"
Deputy: "I do. I do."
Jim: "Who the hell is that?"
Danielle: "Who's this?"
Deputy: "Uh, this is John... Smith."


where.wav(40K) where.mp3(40K) where.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Danielle: "Where should I touch Amber?"
Stifler: "Ass, baby! Feel that ass!"


iknow.wav(451K) iknow.mp3(451K) iknow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Danielle: "I know. You feel his ass first."
Stifler: "Excuse me?"
Amber (Lisa Arturo): "Yeah, yeah, I like that. That's good."
Danielle: "It's good."
Amber: "Good."
Jim: "Yeah, so I got some painting I should, uh... it's..."
Finch: "Jim. Jim, hold on. I can handle it."
Stifler: "What?"
Finch: "Stifler, I'm comfortable with my sexuality. And I would love to see that show."
Danielle: "Bravo!"
Stifler: "One finger on the cheek."
Amber: "We want palm grasping."
Finch: "Oh, that's too much. No, no, no."
Amber: "You don't touch, we don't touch."
Trucker (Brian Turk): "Squeeze his ass, son. You'll like it."


touching.wav(22K) touching.mp3(22K) touching.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "I'm touching his ass. I'm touching his ass. I'm touching his ass."


redleader.wav(66K) redleader.mp3(66K) redleader.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kid (Cole Petersen): "Red leader, what's your position?"
Stifler: "I'm touching his ass. I'm touching his ass. I'm touching his ass. I'm touching his ass. Oh, my god, oh."
Kid: "Mommy!"


gohome.wav(124K) gohome.mp3(124K) gohome.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Finch: "That really wasn't bad."
Stifler: "I wanna go home."
Amber: "That's too bad."
Stifler: "Never mind. I'm staying."
Amber: "Danielle is feeling my brests."


trying.wav(205K) trying.mp3(205K) trying.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Dude, you're a bleepin' lousy kisser."
Jim: "What? I wasn't trying! That's not fair! I wasn't trying there. I'm really... I'm not..."
Danielle: "No judgement."
Amber: "Nope."
Jim: "Wait a second. You were trying?"
Stifler: "bleep no!"
Jim: "You were trying!"
Stifler: "You were trying!"
Jim: "Oh, my... That's disg..."
Stifler: "Oh, I kissed Jim! Wierd."


cooter.wav(41K) cooter.mp3(41K) cooter.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Trucker: "Them girls sound like the two transvestites we picked up in Biloxi, Cooter."


hungry.wav(25K) hungry.mp3(25K) hungry.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mom (Nancy Stone): "Honey, come on. Food's ready."
Dad (Kevin Kilner): "I'm not hungry!"


wantmore.wav(291K) wantmore.mp3(291K) wantmore.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Finch: "I want more."
Stifler: "Hell, yeah."
Jim: "Yeah."
Stifler: "I want more, too, baby."
Amber: "Mm hmmm."
Danielle: "We' gonna get more physical as soon as we get some..."
Amber: "Hand jobs."
Jim: "Okay!"
Danielle: "Hand jobs."
Amber: "You do him. We love to watch."
Danielle: "Um hmmm."
Jim: "I'm sorry?"
Amber: "Yeah."
Danielle: "You go."
Amber: "We go."
Danielle: "You go."
Amber: "We go."


itsokay.wav(252K) itsokay.mp3(252K) itsokay.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Okay. It's okay. I know what I have to do. I need to keep this party goin'. I'm takin' one for the team."
Jim: "Mother of god!"
Stifler: "Come on, you pussies. We had 'em."
Finch: "I am not touching that."
Jim: "Put that thing awoy, Stifler."
Stifler: "Why can't you guys be team players, huh? I was the one doin' all teh sacrificin'."


theshow.wav(99K) theshow.mp3(99K) theshow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Amber: "Whoo!"
Danielle: "And now, for our devoted listeners, back to the show. Amber, let me try that dildo."


handjobs.wav(155K) handjobs.mp3(155K) handjobs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Oz: "Okay. Now wait just a minute. Stifler wanted to give you two hand jobs?"
Jim: "No. Stifler wanted one from us."
Oz: "What? Bullbleep."
Finch: "No, he did, okay? And it was horrible, Oz."
Jim: "Very horrible."


badman.wav(86K) badman.mp3(86K) badman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Girl: "Jenny, where'd you put my clarinet?"
Jenny: "Oh, I think I shoved it in your box."
Girl: "Oh, thanks!"
Jim: "Bad man. I'm a bad, bad man."


dingbat.wav(140K) dingbat.mp3(140K) dingbat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michelle: "I'm a hot girl."
Jim: "Right."
Michelle: "Okay, what do you wanna do?"
Jim: "I wanna feel your boobs."
Michelle: "No, you dingbat. You don't just go groping away. You gotta preheat the oven before you stick in the turkey."


practice.wav(56K) practice.mp3(56K) practice.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michelle: "Oh, you're making me wet."
Jim: "Holy bleep. Really?"
Michelle: "No, I was just saying that so you could practice."


standup.wav(86K) standup.mp3(86K) standup.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michelle: "Stand up."
Jim: "Ohh!"
Michelle: "Now, this is a bleeped up situation."
Jim: "Okay, W-w-w-w... What happened to preheating?"
Michelle: "We're skipping a few chapters."


nonsexual.wav(391K) nonsexual.mp3(391K) nonsexual.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "This is good. This is good. Obviously."
Michelle: "Ooh! Gilligan's Island, Mr. Howell."
Jim: "Wh-What?"
Michelle: "You've got to control yourself and think of something nonsexual. I haven't even touched you yet, and you're turning into the Sears Tower."
Jim: "I'm sorry. Yeah, um, nonsexual. Right, right. Um, okay. Chairs."
Michelle: "Good."
Jim: "Chairs. Uh, uh... Mastodons."
Michelle: "Good."
Jim: "Uh, uh... Cleaning my bathroom. Dung beetles."


threshold.wav(139K) threshold.mp3(139K) threshold.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michelle: "Okay. Now, don't freak out."
Jim: "No."
Michelle: "I'm gonna do something to push your threshold."
Jim: "Okay... Oh, that's cold! What are you doing?"
Michelle: "I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren't instruments fun?"
Jim: "Okay, I think you've just crossed my threshold."


gofish.wav(82K) gofish.mp3(82K) gofish.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Finch: "You go fish."
Kevin: "Finch, we're playing gin."
Finch: "Oh. Oh, gin."


imfine.wav(141K) imfine.mp3(141K) imfine.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Oz: "Everybody okay?"
Jim: "I'm fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine."
Stifler: "Shut the bleep up, or I'll break down this door and pummel your ass!"
Jim: "No, don't come in here. I'm fine. Everything... I just fell out of the bed."


superglued.wav(80K) superglued.mp3(80K) superglued.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "Yeah, I kind of, uh, uh, super glued myself to, uh, myself."


family.wav(53K) family.mp3(53K) family.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Male EMT (Joseph D. Reitman): "Excuse me, sir. Are you a family member?"
Stifler: "bleep, no! This is just too good to miss!"


summer.wav(37K) summer.mp3(37K) summer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "This summer's turnin' out to be great."


lubricant.wav(157K) lubricant.mp3(157K) lubricant.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim's Dad: "I would think any adhesive product would have a warning right on the... on the tube."
Jim: "I thought it was, uh, uh, lubricant. Okay, I was trying to use lubricant."


athome.wav(627K) athome.mp3(627K) athome.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Lady In ER: "Son, couldn't you have left that disgusting thing at home?"
Jim's Dad: "Excuse me?"
Lady In ER: "Well, that kind of material is offensive to me."
Jim's Dad: "Oh, well, we're sorry. But you see, my son couldn't leave it at home because, uh, he's having a bit of a medical emergency."
Jim: "That's right. Thanks, Dad."
Jim's Dad: "Your opinion of his taste in video rentals, I'm afraid, is, uh, not a priority, lady."
Jim: "Okay, Dad..."
Jim's Dad: "Okay? It's at the bottom of the totem pole. Okay?"
Jim: "Thank you, Dad. Okay."
Jim's Dad: "My son is sitting here right now with his hand glued to his penis. But that doesn't mean anything to you, does it? Because you don't have a penis. Or maybe you do!"
Jim: "Dad..."
Jim's Dad: "Sorry."
Jim: "Ow!"
Jim's Dad: "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know, it just bugs me when-when-when-when people speak before they think."


howyoudoin.wav(24K) howyoudoin.mp3(24K) howyoudoin.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim's Dad: "How you doin', son?"
Jim: "I've been better."
Jim's Dad: "Ah."


fulluse.wav(542K) fulluse.mp3(542K) fulluse.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim's Dad: "Doctor, my-my son has a party in seven days, and there's a young lady coming that he's been waiting to... he's been waiting to get with."
Doctor (Kevin Cooney): "I'd tell your son to keep his pants on during that party."
Jim's Dad: "Oh, yes, yes. Believe me, I will be doing that. It goes without saying. But if his pants decide to come off during the party, could he have full use of his, um, penis?"
Doctor: "Okay. This should shave a couple of days off."
Jim's Dad: "Oh, good. Thank you, Doctor. Jim, that's good news. This has been a good news day, son."


jimbo.wav(250K) jimbo.mp3(250K) jimbo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim's Dad: "You know, you may be jimbo, or jumbo, or jimbodinny to these guys in here, but, uh, I want you to know there are two people who still remember where James Emanuel Levenstein came from. We're awful proud of you, son."
Jim: "Thanks, Dad."
Jim's Dad: "Don't forget your penis cream."


ficus.wav(231K) ficus.mp3(231K) ficus.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Finch: "That was it. Right there. That was a pure tantric moment. The ficus, the water... it was all erotic. One more stimulant, I would have had full release."
Stifler: "Finch, stay the bleep away from that ficus. That's a jizz-free ficus."


colorful.wav(235K) colorful.mp3(235K) colorful.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Oz: "Hey, there he is. Morning, Jimbo. How's the twig and giggleberries, mon?"
Jim: "Oh, very colorful. My dick looks like a paint-by-numbers."
Stifler: "Jim, you're the only guy I know whose dick needs an instruction manual."


boys.wav(37K) boys.mp3(37K) boys.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler's Brother (Eli Marienthal): "bleepers, bleepers, bleepers. How you doin', boys?"


whatare.wav(52K) whatare.mp3(52K) whatare.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jim: "What are you doing here?"
Stifler's Brother: "Pussy man, I'm here for the pussy."
Jim: "Take a number."


dress.wav(32K) dress.mp3(32K) dress.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler's Brother: "Is that a bleepin' dress? Are you wearing a dress?"


mylady.wav(110K) mylady.mp3(110K) mylady.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Finch: "My lady is not coming. So, my entire stockpile is wasted and I look rediculous!"


females2.wav(21K) females2.mp3(21K) females2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler's Brother: "Dude, where are the bleepin' females?"


ballsoff.wav(62K) ballsoff.mp3(62K) ballsoff.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Heather: "Hey, Marco, can you get your balls off me? Thanks."
Oz: "Heather, what the hell's going on over there?"


wow.wav(283K) wow.mp3(283K) wow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler's Brother: "Wow! You know, you have beautiful eyes."
Girl At Beach Party: "Oh, you're sweet."
Stifler's Brother: "That's a really nice top."
Girl At Beach Party: "Oh. Thanks."
Stifler's Brother: "You're welcome. Wanna bleep?"
Girl At Beach Party: "Are you serious?"
Stifler's Brother: "Come on, baby. Give it to the Stifmeister."
Girl At Beach Party: "I think you better..."
Stifler's Brother: "Your loss. Wow. You know, you have beautiful eyes."


sherminator2.wav(223K) sherminator2.mp3(223K) sherminator2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Sherman: "I am the Sherminator."
Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth): "Ohh!"
Sherman: "A sophisticated sex robot sent back through time to change the future for one lucky lady."
Nadia: "I am lucky lady?"
Sherman: "That's right, Nadia. You've boon targeted for Shermination. Come with me if you want to live."


geek.wav(170K) geek.mp3(170K) geek.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Nadia: "Ohh! bleep me, geek!"
Sherman: "Affirmative!"
Stifler and Jessica: "No bleepin' way!"
Jessica: "Forget it."
Stifler: "Like you have a chance."


youfound.wav(488K) youfound.mp3(488K) youfound.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Brilliant. You found lesbians. Good luck trying to break through that force field."
Danielle: "Lesbians?"
Amber: "We never said that."
Stifler: "What?"
Danielle: "We never said that."
Stifler: "Oh. Oh, man. I will do anything... anything to sleep with you chicks. Okay? I'll grab every guy's ass in this room. I'll caress it, even. I'll shave some ass if they need it. Oh, yeah. You heard me. It's true. I'll kiss everybody in here. Dudes, chicks, everybody."


steve.wav(24K) steve.mp3(24K) steve.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler's Brother: "Steve..."
Stifler: "Oh, ladies."
Stifler's Brother: "...those are my lesbians."


funky.wav(28K) funky.mp3(28K) funky.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Ladies, I am down with the funky bleep."


hangover.wav(21K) hangover.mp3(21K) hangover.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

John: "Dude, am I gonna have a hang over? Cause I want one."


schedule.wav(38K) schedule.mp3(38K) schedule.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler's Mom (Jennifer Coolidge): "You want to get it on?"
Finch: "You better clear your schedule."


thelake.wav(147K) thelake.mp3(147K) thelake.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Who the hell was that?"
Jim: "That was, uh... That was... Someone was lost. Lookin' for the lake."
Kevin: "Yeah."
Oz: "Yeah, all turned around."
Stifler: "What a dumbass. The lake's right there."


wheres.wav(90K) wheres.mp3(90K) wheres.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler: "Hey, where's Shitbrick?"
Jim: "The movies."
Kevin: "Took the bus."
Oz: "Coffee."
Stifler: "Wait a second. Who the bleep was in that car?"


missedyou.wav(174K) missedyou.mp3(174K) missedyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stifler's Mom: "Oh, Finchy, I minned you."
Finch: "Yeah. Oh, god. Janine. Janine."
Stifler's Mom: "Call me Stiffler's Mom."
Finch: "Oh, Stifler's Mom!"


stiflersmom.wav(51K) stiflersmom.mp3(51K) stiflersmom.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Finch: "Oh, Stifler's Mom!"

 
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